STRAWBERRIES & CREAM

Winter Outfits

2008-11-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

So ladies, winter is here. I don't know about you but it's my favourite time of the year. What's better than scarves, boots & jackets? But winter doesn't have to be about wearing oversized clothing just to keep warm. You can still keep it hip & fabulous.

Here a few of my favourite pieces for the season. Ooohh, I'm getting excited... Enjoy!!

CHOOSING THE RIGHT COLOGNE

2008-11-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

Men, I know how hard it can be to choose the right cologne. Is it too strong? Does it represent me? Will girls like it? Here a few tips that will hopefully help you in making the right decision. Read on...

Choosing a cologne is not a task to take lightly. Much like choosing the proper suit, a cologne must fit you and your lifestyle. Finding the right combination to complement your lifestyle enhances your presence in the room or group and often makes a better first impression than any handshake.

The Sporty Man
Just because you lead an athletic lifestyle, doesn’t mean you have to smell like a locker room or old sports gear. If you know how to pick a cologne, the right fragrance can enhance your own natural scent and heighten it to reflect your world and attract like-minded women.

Best cologne options
Versace Pour Homme: A youthful mixture of musk on the bottom and bergamot riding over the top give the man under 30 an invigorating scent for any activity.

Acqua Di Gio by Giorgio Armani: A warm Mediterranean breeze comes to mind with Acqua Di Gio. The citrus top notes overlay a warm persimmon and bergamot blend. This is the scent for the young gentleman in his early 20s. Its gentle top notes have a strong foundation in the spicy undertones, revealing an energetic aroma.

The Young Pro
Regardless of your career path, you should do your best to present yourself in a professional manner, which means being well-groomed and smelling like you actually care about your work. And that’s when knowing how to pick a cologne becomes an important part of your life.

Best cologne options
The One by Dolce & Gabbana: This unusual mix may not work for the older man, but it’s spot-on for the young professional out to make a good impression.

Paul Smith Extreme Cologne: The irreverent Paul Smith has created a lighter scent for the young career man with an edge. If you’ve got a creative side that’s a little off-kilter from the typical company man, you’ve found your kindred spirit in Paul Smith’s Extreme.

The Man’s Man
Being a man is complicated existence, but these colognes give you a touchstone of what you ought to be. They are unwavering in their presence. This type of scent is a throwback, if you will, to a time when being a man’s man meant something.

Best cologne options
Yves Saint Laurent L’Homme: One may not often think of YSL as being so masculine, but L’Homme stands out as a new timeless scent for today’s complicated man.

Gucci by Gucci: If ever there was a complicated fusion of aromas, this is it. The cedar wood and patchouli base give rise to spices such as bergamot and black pepper with tobacco before revealing floral top notes. The complexity here is too much for the man in his 20s and is better suited for the gentleman in his late 30s. Someone who’s seen just how damned dangerous and conflicted the world can be and appreciates a cologne that does not hold back.

The Urbanite
Living an urban lifestyle often means being ready for anything when the phone rings, which is why you should carefully pick a cologne that allows you to go from meetings to cocktails to court-side seats without a thought. Doing so also means knowing how to pick a cologne with strong green cedar or green citrus notes that thrive against a life lived amid concrete and steel.

Best cologne options
Calvin Klein Men-Euphoria: Brazilian redwood, patchouli and amber set the stage for cedar leaves and black basil with raindrop accord serving as a light opening note. Notice the use once again of patchouli, which is quickly becoming popular as an accent base note for younger men who have not graduated to the more sublime aromas.

Hermes D’Orange Verte Cologne by Hermes: A French classic that may be the only scent to outlast them all and the perfect all-day cologne with its green and citrus blend. If you’re tired of the complex equations of modern colognes or if your day takes you from the casual to the formal in mere hours, D’Orange Verte is worth a try.

NOVEMBER 4 2008

2008-11-05T06:56:00.000-08:00

What a great & historic day!!!!!

Good Morning Mr. President (Elect) - Mr. Barack Obama. President of the World!!

I am not American. I am Jamaican but it fills me with absolute pride & joy to be a part of this great day in history. This victory is not just America's but for the World as a whole. American politics has long infiltrated the affairs of the world & so we all celebrate. From every 'nook & cranny', we say THANKS for this great CHANGE.

The rise of an African-American as President not only gives young & upcoming generations confidence and a new outlook on American politics as it has been known for over 200 years, but it also gives a sense of liberation to Black people all over who have fought for many years for this dream to become a reality.

It gives hope to people of colour everywhere. It gives solace to realize that America is now turning it's eyes away from colour and now to progression.

Many of us thought we'd never see this day but it is now here. Our children & our childrens children will now know of an America that chose a man of colour for President.

YES WE CAN... and YES HE DID!!!!

There will finally be a Black Man in the White House!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully this will set in motion, similar practices for other countries in the world whose political trends are similar to those of the America we once knew... namely the United Kingdom.

I celebrate the change but more importantly, I celebrate America's 1st Black President.

"Rosa Parks sat so that Martin Luther King could walk"
"Martin Luther King walked, so that Barack Obama could run"

"Barack Obama ran, so that Black People could fly"

BARACK OBAMA - President-Elect.

Love Me... Flaws & All

2008-08-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

It's the norm to detest your physical attributes if they're not... sexy or flattering in some way. Your nose is too big, your legs aren't skinny enough, your nose not straight enough. But how about finding something beautiful about each part?

DISCLAIMER: I'm far from being conceited so I'm not self-praising in the least.

For me, I've never like my hands. My hands are fat & my fingers short & fat also. Not the conventional "slender-long- hands & fingers" most girls have. What had caused them to stand out so much was the fact that I used to be a really skinny chick. I'd be reluctant to shaking hands when meeting someone, always sit on em, fold my hands into fists just so no one would even as much as catch a glimpse.

I struggled with finding one, just one positive feature about them. It took a while but I'm finally there. The fear of having them seen wore off a bit eventually. I even started to make jokes about them & I started feeling a bit better. These days, I'm not as skinny so they look more proportioned:) I even won an arm-wrestling challenge recently so now I'm thankful for them. The greatest feature I've found is how strong they are. It's not a masculine strength or anything (LOL) but they do me well.

In the last couple of years, I grew to like my eyes. They're not 'full', nor are they almond shaped or even coloured, but with just the right mascara, they sure are bright:)

My nose surely ain't straight, but it's the cutest pug nose you'll find. Even though on my not-so-cute-early-mornings, it grows about two sizes.

I have the most scratches & burns on my leg especially on my shin. All from years of climbing & falling out of trees, trying to learn how to ride a bike (which I still haven't mastered) & from tripping over myself way too many times. However, I've grown to appreciate the fact that burns & scratches are character forming. They really are. Ask me about any & I'm almost sure I can give you the story behind each one.

Something I love about my physical being & have always loved is my smile. I don't have 'perfect' lips or even perfect teeth but my smile, in so many ways, epitomizes my personality.

It's a bit crooked but to the right person, can be the light that illuminates a day. LOL! (talk about not being conceited).

On a more serious note though, I personally think it's one of my better features. And while it is crooked, it's still a nice one. Just like me...

I may not be perfect but I'm happy & healthy & loving life.

"Life without liberty is like a body without spirit"

Yes, You Should Trust Your Gut

2008-06-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

You have a natural sixth sense that can help you make better decisions, suss out a person, even save your life.

You've heard of intuition, but what you may not realize is that it's a biological survival tool. And while animals often heed this sixth sense, humans tend to let "rational" thinking override it. Intuition can guide us to make smarter, faster choices. We break down how these feelings operate and offer tips for harnessing their power.

What Intuition Is
"Gut instincts are mental shortcuts used to make a snap judgment based on experience and environment," says David Myers, PhD. Your unconscious picks up on clues below the surface of rational awareness and communicates the info to you via intuitive feelings. It's like a little covert operation in your head.
These messages are sparked by perceptual cues (e.g., people can tell when a smile is fake yet can't explain why) or by past situations. So if you get bad vibes from a coworker, on a deeper level you might be noticing patterns between her and someone else who mistreated you.

Ways to Spot a Gut Signal
An unconscious nudge often manifests physically, says Judith Orloff, MD — think a knot in your stomach or feeling the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. But how can you tell if the jittery anxiety you have before boarding a plane is a subconscious SOS or just nerves? "A gut instinct isn't accompanied by fear," notes Dr. Orloff. "It calmly advises you what to do.

"How to Intuit"
Intuition is like a muscle. It gets stronger with use. So give it a workout by following your instinct with inconsequential choices, such as whether to wear jeans or black pants. Assuming both look great on, it doesn't matter which you go for. But this exercise gets you in the habit of relying on gut reactions instead of analyzing ("I wore jeans the other day, so I guess I'll do the pants"). Eventually, listening to your inner voice will become second nature and help you out with important decisions.Having trouble tuning in to your gut? Jump-start it by making a logical decision, but before doing anything, take stock of how you feel about that conclusion. Say you're dating two guys. Pick the one who makes more sense (has a better job, etc.). If your heart sinks, you know the other guy is right. Just remember that your intuition's power depends on the breadth of your experience.

Example: While someone who cooks regularly can wing a recipe with terrific results, a less practiced chef should probably stick to the instructions (like myself)

10 Signs You're Whipped

2008-06-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

If you've ever wondered whether or not you’re one of the many unfortunate suckers out there who've joined the ranks of the whipped (and are probably being mocked and ridiculed for it to boot), take a look at this list of top 10 signs you’re whipped; if you recognize any of them, for God’s sake, man up and do something about it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to please your woman by indulging in some of the thins she likes, but please don't lose yourself in the process.

Number 10
Going for a beer requires much prior begging & then permission

Number 9

She makes your decisions for you

Number 8
You have a joint e-mail account

Number 7
You go home when she’s ready

Number 6
You have a different social group

Number 5
She commits you to events

Number 4
You constantly worry about her reaction

Number 3
Your friends don’t even bother to call or invite you out

Number 2
What you once took for granted is now a victory

Number 1
You’re no longer interesting, funny or desirable

Trust & Betrayal

2008-05-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Why is it most often the case, that the persons to whom you are closest, are usually the ones who will quicker & more easily disappoint you? Could it possibly be due to the fact that these persons are the ones you 'let in' more than others...?

Whether sadly or not, most relationships thrive on TRUST. Without it, most bonds would perhaps be non-existent. It is the light that illuminates the darkness to the concerns almost always faced in relationships. But what governs when you have trusted and been deceived... been betrayed? Yeah... so, you'll probably put an end to the situation (and the person) that caused you the grief, but what of other associations?

I've always been a trusting person and perhaps, needless to say, I've been disappointed... many times. I'm sure most persons who take on a similar outlook, will or have been also. I'm a positive person & so I tend to approach situations with an open mind, almost always hoping for the best.

I've had many positive, successful outcomes hence my continued loyalty to people & to relationships. I have friends whose philosophy is to "expect the worst but hope for the best". It's a negative outlook to have on life but it seems to work for them. Unlike me, they tend to handle disappointments much better. It's as though they were mentally prepared for the worst to occur & when it did, they were fine... Disconsolate, but still perhaps happy that they didn't put too much trust in a person or a situation.

It is logical to have your guard up & to be wary of people but it can take away from a situation. Who knows? Maybe one of these days I'll fully accept & appreciate that code but for now, my belief is that "there will always be more good than bad in the world".

What have your experiences been like & what is your standard?

"I don't trust him. We're friends." - Bertolt Brecht

In Honour of Mother's Day...

2008-05-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is the occasion to honor the best creation of God on Earth, to shower her with all your love, care and warmth, to help those hands which helped us to overcome all the hiccups, to stand by the person who stood like a rock in our lean and mean days and to assure her that she really means the world to us. Although no material gift can match our love towards her still they do attach meaning and significance to the occasion in their own small way.

Greeting cards, flowers, chocolates and other such gifts make the day more memorable and add joy to the occasion. They help us to make her feel extra special. Mother's Day is the time to give back to our moms the love and care which she showered on us, all her life. This is the time to tell her that she is the most loving, kind-hearted, understanding and caring person in our lives.

It's time to treat her like a queen and treat her with a royal buffet prepared by one's own hands, to give her promise-cards and coupons that she may use, when she needs your help the most. You may use our gift ideas to let your mother know that no one loves her more than her children and they know how important it is for her to be hugged and kissed like they were still kids.

(Day For Mother's)

Can you detect a lie?

2008-04-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

Wanna know if someone is lying? Many studies have been done to detect ways to pick up on a lie but one common thing almost all studies have come up with is facial expressions. "The face says it all". I found this really interesting article on Yahoo! News giving info on yet another study. Rad on...

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Liars might think they are good at covering up their deceit but a new Canadian study shows there's one thing they can't control that will give them away -- flashes of emotion in their faces.

Researchers at Dalhousie University's Forensic Psychology Lab in Halifax conducted the first detailed study on the secrets revealed when people put on a false face or inhibit various emotions, and found their faces told the truth.

But instead of clues like shifty eyes or sweaty brows, their expression would crack briefly, allowing displays of true emotions such as happiness, sadness, disgust and fear to come through.
"Unlike body language, you can't monitor or completely control what's going on your face," Stephen Porter, who worked on the research, said in a statement.

The researchers, who reported their findings in journal Psychological Science, examined the case of Canadian Michael White who sobbed as he made a public appeal for the return of his missing pregnant wife Liana White in July 2005.

But three days later, flashes of anger broke through his sadness and he said he was so frustrated with the police that he was going to find his wife himself, leading volunteer searchers directly to her body in a ditch on the outskirts of Edmonton.
He was charged and convicted of second-degree murder.

When Porter and his team analyzed White's plea frame by frame, they found hints of anger and disgust in his face, not noticed by most of the public.

The researchers also studied adult who were asked to view images that ranged from happy (puppies playing) to fearful (a close-up of open-mouthed rabid dog) and disgusting (a severed hand).

They were told to respond with genuine or deceptive expressions and their reactions recorded.
Porter said no one was able to falsify emotions perfectly. Some emotions were harder to fake than others. Happiness was easier to fake than disgust or fear.

So I...

2008-04-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

So I went to get my annual eye examination today. I'd completely run out of Contact Lens and have been wearing my glasses for quite some while, which is driving me up the wall. I'm so used to having my contacts that there are days I forget my glasses at home & have to return for them cuz I'm helpless w/o.

Eye examinations can be so hard. During the examination, you want to give an accurate description of what it is you're seeing.. or not seeing for that matter. You really want to get the best prescription so that you can spot your friends from a mile away & no longer bump into stuff but isn't it so hard to admit that you can't see well or barely, to be more honest? It sucks for me.

Each time I go, I spend seconds looking at those letters trying to figure out which frame I should choose. At the end of the examination, I don't want my prescription to change for the worse but then I always wonder if they know when you lie.

"Frame 1 or Frame 2, Ms. Henry?"
"Ahm... one?"
"Let's go again Ms. Henry... Frame 1 or Frame 2?"
"Two?"
"You have to be sure Ms. Henry"

I think they know when you lie... what's with all those bright lights they shine & snap in your eye? And what the heck is w/ that house in the distance? Drives me nuts.

Well, in spite of all that, my most recent experience wasn't bad at all. My sight has actually improved & that's just great news if ever there was some.

I'm happy though that while 'time flies', a year has twelve whole months so that's twelve more months before I go. Praise Jah!!

Shalom!!

My New Fashion Craze

2008-04-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

My new crush... Knee Length Bermuda's & Cuffed Shorts.

Bermuda's have been around for some time now but they are sooo versatile that I'm sure they'll be around for a long time to come. They come in so many different prints and can be worn to so many different occassions (providing you nail the right cut, colour & wardrobe)

I can only remember wearing shorts once ever & it was to a beach party so appropriate it was. I always thought they were too exposive or just didn't fit quite right. But my my, have these quarter pants changed. Shorts are now perhaps one of the most re-invented pieces of clothing. They've come a very long way. From being mostly denim & cotton, they now come in all lengths, colours, prints and my personal favourite... cuffed! They even come high waisted and they are just to die for.

See some of my faves.

A lesson on Saving

2008-04-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

I admit that I am a very poor saver. I always have a plan to save but never quite get around to doing it as effectively & as often as I should. I've tried to cut back on many things (shopping) but so far I've failed miserably. I think my friends are just about tired of encouraging me to put some away for a rainy day. So someone decided to send me an email with some advice. Even if this doesn't help me, I hope it helps you...

When it comes to having a successful financial plan, there's no question that you need to address specific must-have long-term savings goals. Without these goals, you will likely have a hard time saving any money, as you will be inclined to simply spend every dollar that comes across your plate. Additionally, having a specific set of must-have long-term savings goals can provide some purpose and fulfillment to your savings efforts. While it may seem like some of these financial ventures are much too far in the future to worry about right now, if you want to reach your financial goals, you have to realize that must-have long-term savings are the only way to get there.

House Down-Payment
When to start: 5 years before
Owning your own home is one of the most important financial decisions you can make for yourself and your family. Real Estate can certainly be an investment, but you should not view it as a quick-flip opportunity. Over a course of several decades, real estate prices tend to appreciate, but they are not immune to short-term price fluctuations. Buying a home can be a very emotional decision, but you should not let feelings interfere with the business aspect of your decision. First, estimate what an affordable monthly payment would be based on your income, then find a house within that price range -- not above, no matter how much you adore the house itself. Then, aim to save at least 20% of the purchase price for a down payment. It is a lofty savings goal, but it will help your personal finances enormously as it will help you avoid the PMI, obtain a more favorable interest rate from the bank, and it may even help you negotiate the price of the house.

Emergency Fund
When to start: 0-3 months
We're all smart enough to understand why it's important to have a cushion of cash in the bank. Unfortunately, it's easier said than done, especially when the experts are saying you need to have cash on hand to cover three to six months of living expenses, should the worst happen. Start simple and just commit to always having a practical amount in your savings account. This will be a savior when it comes to things like bouncing checks or dealing with more common emergencies like speeding tickets or health issues. Even in the event that the emergency exceeds the amount you have, that must-have long-term savings stash will help you tremendously. Don’t wait on this -- just do it -- and make it your first priority. The feeling of being in control of your finances will do wonders for your financial confidence in the long run.

"Very Vic"

2008-04-10T08:25:00.001-07:00

I don't know about you but I'm so in love with Victoria Beckham... one of the sexiest women married to the sexiest man alive. Isn't it crazy how easily women can lose their identity to their husbands (& vice versa), but not Vic. She has managed to be as sexy, as fierce & as visible as her 'left-footed' hubby. Whether she's taking the kids to school, or she's out w/ her former band mates or at a press release, you can depend of Victoria to make you completely covetous of an outfit.
So in light of her achievements, I've coined a phrase solely around her to describe an outfit or demeanour that evokes Victoria to the fullest.

"VERY VIC" - "Girl, you're looking Very Vic today. Loving it." (LOL!!)

A Few Fashion Suggestions

2008-04-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

I absolutely loooove mixing & matching items all in the name of fashion. You'd be surprised at the fabolous outfits you can create by adding something different each time.

Be sure to have essential items in your closet that can go with most anything. You know how they say every chick should have a black dress in her closet? While I'm not opposed to the theory, it may be a bit antiquated. In addition, you may not be necessarily be the wear-a-dress-type, so to substitute, a pair of Black Jeans, to me anyhow, are just as good. So get yourself a pair.

Below are a few items that you may find work for many different occassions. A dinner, a movie, a hower. You decide. By simply adding or subtracting an accessory or two, you'll be ready to head out in absolute style.

DAY TIME

NIGHT TIME

DINNER

FRIDAY TO WORK

ENJOY!!!!

Spring in in the Air...

2008-04-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

So spring has sprung and along with it comes a whole wave of exciting fashion ideas & tips. My absolute favourite pieces for Spring are...

Gladiator Sandals

Oh, how I love me some 'Spartan/Jesus' slippers. LOL. They are so different from your regular sandals. Worn with the right outfit, they can be the perfect accessory for almost any outing. Be sure to get yourself a pair this Spring and don't forget that pedicure!! (Brighter colours preferably)

Cropped Jackets

Talk about a piece for any event. These can be had in almost any colour, print, texture & even in different style variations. Throw over a tank w/loose fitting pants & a pair of Gladiator Sandals; wear with a collar shirt, skinny jeans & a pair of heels on another occassion. This is a closet-must-have.

Remembering What's Important

2008-04-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Sharing my thoughts, Pt II...

Remembering What's Important

It’s not having everything go right
It’s facing whatever goes wrong

It’s not about being without fear
It’s having the determination to go on in spite of it

What is most important is not where you stand
But the direction you’re going in

It’s more than never having bad moments
It’s knowing you are always bigger than the moments

It’s believing you have already been given everything
You need to handle life

It’s not being able to rid the world of all its objections
It’s being able to rise above them

It’s the belief in your heart, that there will always be
More good than bad in the world

Remember to live in just this one day
And not add tomorrow’s troubles to today’s load

Remember that everyday ends and brings a new tomorrow
Full of inviting new things

Love what you do
Do the best you can
And always remember how much you’re loved.

On Philantrophy & Materialism...

2008-04-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

I just read an article that damn near had me thinking that the editor was very possibly my soulmate. hee, hee, hee... Kidding.

The article speaks of Materialism & how many of us have allowed it to literally take over our lives. Unfortunately, our need to drive a new car, to be in the latest fashion, to party w/ socialites, etc, has now become what determines who we are & many of us are willing to suffer creditors breathing down our necks all in the name of 'flossing'.

We get so caught up in all that we need to get to 'complete' us, that we forget about the less fortunate. We prefer to rely on others than to give back.

It would seem that we are either ignorant to the fact that money & material things don't bring us happiness or we have simply forgotten.

Go on & read the article below. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...

=====

"For some time, I was concerned about the car I drove & other nonsense I now find to be of little importance. At one point, I wore two carat diamond studs in my ears, but have downgraded to a less ostentatious quarter carat. In the end, it’s not going to matter how big my diamonds were or whether I drove a Ford or a Ferrari. That’s not what will determine my worth.

The status of a person is not how much money they have or what they do for a living — the real importance of a person is how they treat everybody, particularly the people who are deemed lower than them in society. I’ve figured out what it's all about. For me, the only thing that’s going to matter is that I lived my life to the fullest and did everything I possibly could to help those around me in need.

I’m not saying I’m giving away my worldly possessions to feed the hungry & care for the sick; I like to spend money like everyone else. However, I know my limitations, and choose not to exceed them. Judging by our generation’s conspicuous consumption, not everyone shares that sentiment.

We try to stunt, living beyond our means causing more debt & superficiality.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor; however, we should be aware that rich people are not happier & adding wealth to your life does not increase a sense of well-being.

“Instead of amassing Benjamins in our pockets & bonds in our portfolios, we should be spending our money on what will actually make us happier.”

For each of us, that will mean something different. Personally, I love the idea of socio-capitalism. I’m not saying those who can support others should do so. It’s their money & they should be able to do with it what they want. I do, however, think it’s messed up when people base their life’s worth on the amount of money & possessions they’ve accumulated instead of realizing the number of people they could have helped. If all I am concerned with is gaining material goods just for the sake of saying I have this or that means a problem exists & there’s a disconnect with reality.

As the disparity between rich & poor grows, the wealthy become less inclined to pay taxes that benefit the average person & the rich get richer, the middle is not raised and these differences compound themselves. Materialism then becomes a threat to the unity on which any well-ordered, democratic society is based.

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”- Will Smith

J. Dakar... u're a genius!

(J. Dakar is a political/social contributor to popular website, Concrete Loop. For more articles from J. Dakar, visit http://www.concreteloop.com/.)

2008-03-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was getting dressed to take a trip outta town. I decided to wear one of my favourite pairs of Jeans only to realize, much to my horror, that it wouldn't fit. I was in shock! I apparently had put on quite a few pounds. I know my weight fluctuates quite often so I thought perhaps it was just 'another of those days'.

It seemed, that day, that everyone else noticed what I had noticed earlier... "Gee, you've put on some weight chick..." To make matters worse, I was looking through my girlfriends' camera & saw some pics we had taken a few weeks before. I almost screamed at the image I saw. Now I know why she still hasn't emailed me those pics.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those chicks who worries without reason about packing on an extra pound or two but when you're as short as I am, you'll worry about an extra 5 pounds especially when it seems you're likely to add a few more to that 5. What makes the weight gain that much more bothersome is knowing where I'm coming from. Just 3 years ago, I was still at the 100lb mark. *Sigh*

So in light of the recent pounds, I've decided to diet:) No, I won't stop eating or become bulimic. Though I do wanna lose some weight, I've decided to take on a healthier outlook as opposed to trying some crash dieting that'll probably end in some not-so-good-results.

I honestly believe that, despite what others may say, if there is something about yourself that makes you uncomfortable, if faxable, fix the damn thing. Whether, it's a physical flaw or a personality trait.

So if you have any suggestions for healthy eating (and weight loss :-) please lemme know.

Ta!

Sharing My Thoughts...

2008-03-27T11:51:00.001-07:00

I've been going through some things lately & I had to come to the realization that some things aren't as difficult as they appear. In both writing this entry & re-reading it, I just felt the pressure ease with each sentence. I hope it does the same for you...

Understand… that whatever is happening with you at this very moment, can be contained in just the moment.

Understand… that it is you & only you who are allowing it to happen, so you can stop it from happening.

Once this moment passes, all the emotions you are now feeling can pass with it.

Refrain from making things seem more important than they actually are. While it is important to recognize the effect they have on you, do not fall into a habit of magnifying them. It only makes them that much harder to release when it is time to.

Remind yourself constantly that you control your thoughts. Even if you can’t control what initially caused them, you still have the power to either erase them or to minimize the effect they have on you or will potentially have.

Don’t be afraid to blame yourself for things you did wrong, only if you actually did do them wrong. If you don’t admit that it was a mistake, then you can’t learn from it.

Make an effort to forgive yourself for things you think you may have either allowed to happen or may have contributed to. Whether it was to you or to someone else…

Cliché as it sounds, spend time alone with yourself. If you’ve never done so or haven’t in a while, it may seem a bit difficult to do at first, but it is extremely important. Do it until you even start conversing with yourself and laughing at your own jokesJ At that point, you’ll know for sure that you don’t need anyone to complete you or to make you happy.

Always remember to live a little. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Take things as they come and let them go in the same fashion.

And never forget to laugh… lots.

Get Involved in a Cause/Charity

2008-03-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

Finding a cause to support should be an enjoyable experience. Ever since I can remember, I have always been interested in different causes though I haven't always been in a position to bring most to fruition. It always ends up being one of those cases where "the heart is willing but the flesh is weak". You know what I mean... From the homeless, to orphans, to disabled persons.

However, I have not allowed my lack of resources to stop me from doing the little I can. As often as I can, I try to encourage others to do the same where they saw it necessary. What I have found though is that people are often hesitant to contribute to causes/charities for various reasons. "They're not my relatives", "I do not know them", "How will it benefit me?"... the questions go on. So I outlined a few of the questions you can ask yourselves if & once you have decided to take the step:

What issue(s) provoke a strong reaction in you (positive or negative)?

You may have been on your way home & seen someone attempting to source their evening meal from the garbage bin, knowing that you're on your way home to a nicely prepared hot meal. It may even cause you to feel guilty that you didn't do something to help in some way. This may be an indication of your neede to get involved in a homeless charity.

Have you benefited from someone's generosity in the past?

Everybody is a patchwork product of the people and events that came before them; your opinions and decisions are shaped and molded accordingly. The common desire to give something back could take the form of a contribution to the future of the ideas or programs that in some regard helped you. For example, a church or community center or even a family friend may have provided a safe haven for you when you got out of school.

Does your community need help in a particular area?

Start at home and look for what’s missing in your area. There may be a tendency to think big -- on a national or global scale -- but the world is a series of communities and can best respond to positive, palpable change one community at a time.

What applicable strengths or resources can I offer?

Strengths can include many things, from being able to sing & using that gift to perform to a group at a Children's/Adult Home, to possessing carpentry skills & buliding furniture for someone who mightn't be able to afford it. You'd be surprised the value it could to add to someone's day or their life, even.

A friend of mine decided last Christmas that instead of throwing a Christmas Party, he would donate approximately USD$1000 to the Salvation Army. While he could have used that money to entertain, he saw where it was needed by persons less fortunate. A very kind heart.

So go ahead & ponder on these things & get the ball rolling. It will have you & others feeling quite happy.

Very Bad Baby Names

2008-03-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? How do normal people separate their offspring from the masses with these truly terrible names? I think an attempt at being this unique is a crime & should be punished.

In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau.

Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

See below for groups FOOD & CELEBRITIES.

Foods

Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:

Lunch Magee

Dinner Ware

Bread White

Hero Brat

Mayo Head

Mustard M. Mustard

Pickle Parker

Plum Sellers

Banana Bowdy

Cherry Grant

Celebrities

Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:

Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)

Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)

Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)

Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)

Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)

Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)

Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)

Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)

Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)

Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)

Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)

Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)

Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)

SOURCE: MSNBC

Recipe for Chicken Alfredo

2008-03-17T09:47:00.001-07:00

While I'm not a "cook", there are a few dishes I prepare quite well (if i should blow my own horn) One being Chicken Alfredo, which just happens to be one of my all time favourite dishes. I tend to be very picky when it comes on to food, but this dish has managed to get me every time & it's rare have it and am not 100% satisfied. Anyway, when I like something, I tend to wanna share it, well... most things, not all.
So I've decided to give y'all the recipe. It's really easy to prepare and takes very little time. Enjoy.

CHICKEN ALFREDO

2 lbs boneless chicken breasts
4 tablespoons oil
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
3/4 cup heavy creamsalt and pepper, to taste
1 lb fettucine

Heat oil in a 10 inch skillet. Cut chicken breast into strips. Add salt and pepper. Fry on medium heat until cooked through.

SAUCE:
Melt butter in saucepan; add cream and cheese. cook over low heat, stirring constantly. Do not boil.

Cook fettucine in 3 quarts boiling water. Mix chicken and Alfredo sauce together. Drain noodles. Put sauce and chicken over noodles.

Should provide approximately 6 servings.

NOTE: This is best enjoyed w/ lightly toasted garlic bread.

BACK IN BIZZ!!!!

2008-03-12T09:32:00.000-07:00

Yes Bitches...!!!! I'm back in business! Recently some mofo or the other hacked into all my accounts & was having a field day. Thanks to Google & their efficient staff, I was able to regain access & was lucky not to have lost any info. Here's hoping the asshole is satisfied.

So I decided to give you some info that I received to assist in protecting yourself from predators on the Web...

Use anti-virus software - Most viruses enter a computer hidden in a seemingly innocent program, often as an attachment to an email. Then the virus software code attached to the program produces copies of itself and inserts the copied code into other programs. A virus can result in lost data or require costly repairs to your system. You can avoid these risks by installing and using software that scans your computer and your incoming email for viruses, and then deletes them.
Install a firewall - A firewall is software or hardware designed to block hackers from accessing your computer. A properly configured firewall masks your IP address, making it tougher for hackers to locate your computer. Firewalls are designed to prevent hackers from getting into your programs and files.

(A firewall is different from anti-virus protection: Anti-virus software scans your incoming communications and files for troublesome files; a firewall helps make you invisible on the Internet and blocks all communications from unauthorized sources)

Don't fall for a fibbing email - Most viruses won't damage your computer unless you open the email attachment that includes the virus. So hackers often lie to get you to open the attachments. The email may appear to come from a friend or colleague, or it may have an appealing file name, like "Fwd: FUNNY TEXT" or "As per your request!" It could appear to link to a website or promise to clean a virus off your computer if you open it. Don't open an email attachment - even if it appears to be from a friend or coworker - unless you are expecting it or know what it contains. If you send an email with an attached file, include a text message explaining what it is.
Use strong passwords - Hackers may try to steal your passwords to gain access to the personal information stored on your computer. To make it tougher for them, use passwords that have at least eight characters and include numerals or symbols. Avoid common words: some hackers use programs that can try every word in the dictionary. Don't use your personal information, your login name or adjacent keys on the keyboard as passwords.
Back up important files - If you follow these tips, you'll reduce the chances of falling victim to a hacker or virus. But no system is completely secure. If you have important files stored on your computer, copy them onto a removable disc, and store them in a safe place.

Do Women settle for Mediocre Sex?

2008-02-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

Hmm... this is rather true....

"Women have high expectations for nearly every area of their lives, but when it comes to sex, they settle for less.

And most women keep their dissatisfaction with sex a secret, leaving their partners (let alone their doctors) in the dark, said Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist who focuses on women's sexuality at the University of Virginia Health System.

With surveys and years of clinical experience, Clayton has compiled a vast collection of data on women's sex lives. Often, she said, a female patient would visit her with issues like marital problems or depression, and only when directly asked about sex, the patient would divulge dissatisfaction.

Clayton attributes several factors to a woman's lack of sexual satisfaction, including:

Sex gets shoved to the bottom of the "to do" list for women. And when they do have sex it becomes just another task.

Women are not getting their emotional needs met during sex. An orgasm might not be the point.

Many women strive for unrealistic physical perfection seen in the media and are unhappy with some aspect of their physical bodies.
Women don't ask for what they want in bed, fearing their partner will be hurt or leave them.
Medications such as antidepressants can reduce a woman's libido and ability to reach orgasm.

Some women complain about difficulty reaching orgasm or lack of sexual desire, but frequently they just felt an overall letdown regarding sex", Clayton said.

SOURCE: Live Science

Health & Fashion

2008-02-25T08:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever given serious thought to the fact your need to be Hollywood fabulous could be posing a threat to your health? Your favourite oversized tote or that cute shoe may seem like the perfect accessory but is it worth the price?

Here a few tips for keeping your fab on & feeling good about it at the same time.

The Big Bag Theory

Large bags may seem both fashionable and practical. However, beware the size of your bag. It allows you to overload your back, neck and shoulders. Carrying a bag more than 10 percent of your body weight leaves you open for problems such as "muscle spasms, slipped disks and herniations", says one Spine Surgeon. One way to beat the pain is to make sure you alternate the side you carry your bag on. Alternating will help distribute the stress more evenly.

Pointy Shoes

Trying to fit your feet in to pointy shoes can leave you with incredibly sore feet, not to mention disrupt the line of your spine. The best thing you can do for your feet is to break in new shoes before sporting them on the town. Wearing your shoes around the house in wet socks will get them ready for wear in no time. The dampness in your socks will soften the shoe fabric and help mold the shoes to the shape of your feet.

Wearing the Wrong Bra

There are certain outfits that definitely call for going strapless, but without the right support you may wind up hunched over instead of strutting your stuff. Without the right support you can find yourself in a great deal of neck and back pain. To help you pick out the right bra, get measured over your blouse by a professional in any large department store. Or, if you're a bit shy, you can use a bra size calculator in the privacy of your home.

Curling Irons

When striving for those perfect bouncy waves that all the stars are sporting a curling iron isn't always your best friend. If you are in a rush it can be easy to accidentally scald yourself on the hot surface. In the event of a burn you could be left with an angry red welt. To speed along the process of skin renewal try using glycolic acid products, such as alpha hydroxyl products, to start peeling off the top layer of skin.

Sex At Work

2008-02-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

I did a post some time ago on Office Romances... the upsides & the downsides. But what good is it if there isn't an exception to the rule, you ask. Well, I often maintain, that if you can't resist temptation, then you may as well be informed on how best to do it:) Temptation in this case being the above mentioned.

Note: If you can find your action someplace else, please, please do. The hunting may take more effort, but the kill and cleanup will be so much easier.

Read on for some hopefully-these-will-work tips.

Rule #1: Choose your partner wisely.

If you're on the same level, then give it a go. Although sideways is complicated in so many ways, it's the best way to avoid popping up on HR's radar and becoming another casualty. Above You or Below You - never recommended.

Rule #2: Have "the talk" early.

Right after you've endured those conversations about protection, sexual history, one pillow or two, discuss worst-case work scenarios and establish rules for downshifting back to platonic colleagues, if that becomes a necessity — i.e., no tears, no anger, and no loose talk in the break room about how his stuff bends to the right.

Rule #3: Play it cool.

No physical contact, no telling glances. First of all, offices tend to have cameras in every corner these days. Secondly, while most people never pick up on the cues we give off, the smart ones do. They can tell when you're pregnant, shifting alliances, or looking for another job. And they can certainly spot the way you sweetly finger his tie, or suddenly snipe with a fury that sounds more like "What the f*** am I doing f****** a married guy?" than "You forgot to put the 11-by-17 in the copier!"

Rule #4: Confide in no one.

Not even your closest office mate. Because no one can be trusted to hang tight to this secret. And when he/she does tell all, everyone will assume the projects and promotions that come your way have nothing to do with your unparalleled brand-marketing skills and everything to do with those liaisons at the motel downtown.

Rule #5: Deny, deny, deny.

If there's no e-mail trail and nothing on the cameras, how are they absolutely sure you two have hooked up? They're not going to dust him for prints. Then again, best to keep your resume up-to-date and know that one or both of you may have to move on. Most importantly, do your job really, really well. Most places hate to lose great people, even if they exhibit — all together now — really poor judgment.

SOURCE: MSN Lifestyle

What Makes You Miserable At Work?

2008-02-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

Are you miserable at work? Do you never feel good about getting up and heading to work on Monday? Do you feel unchallenged, unhappy, or not in control? Is your boss the worst? Do your co-workers engage in unjustifiable complaining all day long? Is no contribution ever good enough? If you continue to participate in any of these situations, you will ensure that you will continue to hate your job. And, hating your job is the centerpiece for a miserable life. Why go there?

Below are some of the factors that will undoubtedly cause you misery at work:

Participating in the conversations of or hang out with people who are always finding fault with the company, the management, the customers, their coworkers, and more.

Legitimate concerns, that are actually addressed aside, If you wallow in misery and unhappiness, and listen to unhappy, difficult people, it cannot help but bring you down. Unhappiness and criticism are contagious. Move on to avoid catching the bug.

Staying in a job that is unchallenging, unexciting, and unrewarding.

Day after day, year after year, you are numbing your mind and your heart with work that doesn't fulfill you. Find out about other job opportunities; find ways to use your current skill set differently, and take tests and talk with the counselor to identify work you might find more exciting.

Failing to take responsibility for your own development.

You can wait forever for a non-communicative boss to give you feedback about areas to improve and your personal and professional growth and development. In fact, in some organizations, you can wait years for a performance appraisal or performance feedback. Why wait on someone else? Why not take responsibility yourself? No one will ever care as much about your personal and professional growth and development as you do. And, no one else has as much to gain from continued growth.

Working for a company that has business practices you disrespect.

Work for a company that lies to customers? Makes promises to employees that are never kept? Bail as quickly as you can. The culture that enables those practices is a tough one to change - if any of the leaders even want to change the culture. Since executives and the founder largely drive the culture, don't hold your breath. There are better, more ethical, companies where you can seek employment.

Staying in a job in which you feel stuck.

There are many reasons why you may feel stuck. Your company is small and there is nowhere to go. You've been passed over for promotion because of a lack of education, experience, or mentoring opportunities. You've sought additional responsibilities and an expanded job to no avail. You've talked with your boss and the problems appear to be insurmountable. If you are ambitious and want to expand your knowledge and career, it's time to go.

http://tv.jubii.co.uk/video/iLyROoaftMjl.html

2008-02-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

I seriously couldn't help mentioning this one...

"With Fidel Castro’s resignation on Tuesday, the U.S. is once again discussing how it should deal with the communist country of Cuba. Do you think America should end its embargo on Cuba?"

Am I the only one who thinks that the U.S. meddles, perhaps a bit too much at times? Were they given permission at some point to be every country's saviour? Or am I just not knowledgeable enough on the facts? You tell me...

How to Get Over Your Ex

2008-02-15T11:00:00.001-08:00

So you thought it would last forever. That relationship that made you see fireworks. Then it happened. The sparks fizzled out, the relationship ended and now you're single.

You want to move on with your life, but you don't know how. How do you know when to move on and how do you get over an ex?

Relationship expert Michael Baisden, host of the new daytime talk show "Talk or Walk," says you must move on when you're no longer happy on a consistent basis in a relationship.

"That's a dead giveaway. If the relationship isn't getting better and the other person isn't working toward making it better, then it's time to go and make a change," says the bestselling author of Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat, Men Cry in the Dark and The Maintenance Man.

Change, oddly enough, is precisely what prevents most people from wanting to move on, observes Baisden.

"You don't want to feel like you've lost time, energy or money. It's like a bad investment in stock, you feel like it's going to turn around."

Myreah Moore, who has been nicknamed "America's dating coach," says that when the joy leaves a relationship, it's time to make an exit.

"When you find that your soul isn't being nurtured anymore, it's time to move on," she says.

"When everything becomes a chore or you have to work so hard to stay there and be there, you should move on. A relationship takes work. Even when you're in the right relationship, you're going to have rough times, but you learn from them. There's a natural flow that will happen. But when you have to work hard and you're still not happy, you must move on."

QUOTES

2008-02-15T07:45:00.000-08:00

"Women are like monkeys, they dont let go of one branch until they have another one in hand".

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known".
- Walt Disney

"Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it".
- Russell Baker

"Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood".
- Louise Beal

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
- Groucho Marx

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life".
- Rita Rudner

"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after".
- Slovenian Proverb

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

"Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done".
- Fred Allen

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on".
- Robert Bloch

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives".

"Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway".

-PEACE

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

2008-02-14T06:16:00.000-08:00

Instead of doing a post on what gifts to get & what to do on this "LOVE" day, I thought, "why not tell you how we got to this day in the first place?" So here you go. A little history on V-DAY...

Valentine's Day has its origins in the Roman festival Lupercalia, observed on February 15th. Lupercalia celebrated the coming of spring (in the Roman calendar February was observed later in the year than it is today).

As Christianity began to take hold in Europe, the Roman church attempted to clean up this pagan day by merging its feast with Saint Valentine's Day (observed February 14). This day honored two legendary Christian martyrs.

In pagan days, February 14 was celebrated in anticipation of the love rites of spring. Tradition held that on that day, doves coupled and owls paired. Taking their cue from the birds, single men and women would hold toga parties during which the winners of a love lottery would slip off to make love.

In Rome, the emperor Claudius was said to have imprisoned St. Valentine in 269 for Christian faith. On the eve of his execution, Valentine, who had fallen in love with his jailer's blind daughter, wrote her a sonnet in ink that he squeezed from violets. His words are said to have made the blind woman see again, but her father was unimpressed. The following day, he clubbed Valentine to death.

Getting Over A Hangover

2008-02-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, the girls & I went partying. We were all having a good time, dancing the night away. Good company, good music & what's a party without good drinks? Not a party at all. It had been a while since we had ALL been out so we decided to out-do ourselves. We had a blast all night long... until the morning after...

I got a phone call at 10am that woke me up. It was one of my girlfriends crying her heart out. I could barely hear what she was saying but was able to decipher from the bawling that she was suffering from a hangover. She sounded so frightened. It wasn't funny then but now I'm cracking up just thinking about it. LMAO!!

Though I myself rarely suffer from hangovers, when I do they're usually pretty bad. I hated to leave her alone in that state so I rushed to visit her w/ some get-over-your-hangover medication, food & tips that have worked for me in the past.

Until that day, I didn't realize that there are quite an amount of persons who really don't know how to treat a hangover.

Alcohol is a mesmerizing drink and despite our best intentions, the different brands of alcohol bewitch us. Once in a while we get tempted to consume a little more than our capacity. The inevitable result is the hangover in the morning and a fake promise to yourself -" Never Again".

I put together a few Do's & Dont's of getting over your Hangover for those of us who may not be aware of how to handle a bit more than the occassional glass.

DOs

Drink a lot of water or a glass of milk. These will calm down your stomach and rehydrate the body. Remember, your liver is responsible for cleaning the alcohol out of your body and in order to do so it needs lots of water and lots of B vitamins.

'Using the bathroom' will relieve you from the hangover symptom - nausea.

Drinking coffee or other caffeinated beverages will reduce headache severity. Alcohol is a depressant so to counteract the effect many people recommend caffeine.

Tomato juice will give immediate relief from alcoholic hangover.

Eat light and nutritious foods like banana, yogurt, apple, etc. These will reduce the hangover symptoms like nausea & dry mouth.

DONT'S

Drinking more alcohol is a devasting suggestion for the cure of hangover.

Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola are not advisable remedies for hangover.

Taking a shower and oscillating between extreme cold and hot temperatures are unhealthy practices to cure an alcoholic hangover.

Avoid sleeping long while having a hangover.

Do not do any extra exercise to get of hangover since it will weaken your body.

Do not eat greasy and fatty foods.

Are You in Relationship Remission?

2008-02-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone’s been burned, cheated on and totally deflated by their loved one at some point. It’s not a fun thing to go through, and sometimes it causes the person to become disillusioned with the whole idea of romance, relationships or beginning anew. They retreat into a shell, vowing to never allow anyone to penetrate this invisible shield of protection to their heart because, after all, they don’t want to be hurt again. And do you blame them? These people whose hearts have been crushed to the point where they just say “no” to relationships are in “relationship remission.”

There comes a time in one’s life when it’s often necessary to take a step back and find out who you are and what you want out of life.

At the tender age of four, Molly envisioned what her husband was going to look like and that they’d have two boys, two girls and all the puppies and kittens they wanted. She had a “pretend” marriage with Alfred, the little boy next door, and while the adults thought it was cute, Molly knew, even back then, that she wanted a fairytale marriage and was going to live happily ever.

Fast forward thirty-nine years later, and Molly has been divorced three times and never found the fairytale marriage she was looking for. She became disillusioned with the whole dating scene after two attempts of rape, relationships that never lasted and several therapy sessions in which she felt she was the reason her life had turned out so horrible. Had she not grown up to believing that life was one Cinderella story after another, maybe she would have been prepared for the frogs along the way, but then, who is to know what the future has in store?

No matter how hard you try, the relationship factor has baffled everyone. Since time began, man has always looked for that magic key that would open the lock to that fulfilling and lifelong relationship, without any problems or grief. So far, no one has been able to find that magic key.

That magic key lies within you and by entering relationship remission, you’ll find out what it is you need to do to unlock that door to your heart and find the Cinderella life that’s been eluding you. By taking a time-out and examining yourself closely, you’ll hopefully discover:

1) The only person who can make you happy is yourself

2) In order to be the person someone would want to love, you have to love yourself first

3) Being a queen instead of a pawn guarantees self-confidence and self-satisfaction

4) Self-love comes first and relationships naturally follow

5) You are queen of your own destiny

When you have had time to regroup, you discover things about yourself that you might have been ignoring, and it’s a perfect time to fix those things that are making you unhappy.

Self-love is the most important thing. If you don’t have self-love, you have to go back to square one and fix it. It’s not hard to do, and if you don’t at least make an attempt, your relationships will go nowhere.

Taking a break from relationships when the need arises is very necessary. It’s the time when we can sit back and evaluate our past lives and try to figure out how we went off our intended path and how to get back on it. The irony of this is that this is when your soul mate does appear—when you least expect it!

So, take time off when the need arises and listen to your intuition, which will guide you to make the right decisions. Follow your gut instincts when things don’t feel right and when things do feel right, it just means that it’s meant to be.

The soul mate relationship isn’t hard to figure out. But, sometimes, we need to regroup within ourselves to realize why our knight in shining armor just never seems to be within our reach.

Fairy tales are fairy tales, but why not turn your life into your own fairy tale and live happily ever after?

While no relationship is perfect, you have the power to make it into anything you want it to be. After all, you are the king or the queen of your own destiny and only you hold that key to your future happiness and well-being. Use the power.

SOURCE: Relationship Expert - Dorothy Thompson.

POSITIVE THINKING

2008-02-11T06:10:00.000-08:00

Positive, uplifting or eternally sunny thinking won’t solve all your problems, and it won’t make you an unqualified smash success at whatever you do. No one thing will. Negative or defeatist thinking, however, does have that kind of power; it alone can torpedo you and run your hopes into the ground.

Negativity has this power chiefly because it disables your resolve and it disarms your mental acuity. In other words, negative thinking has more power to cause you greater destruction than its contrary has the strength and stamina to do right by you. In this instance, attitude has no place for a luxurious middle ground: You either think positively or you mope negatively. It is your choice.

STEP 1

Withdraw emotionally.

Pull back from the situation at hand and grant yourself some perspective; you need to assess your mental reaction, which may act more like a reflex, and start kicking out negative thoughts before they transform into an irrational, emotional outburst. You can very quickly bury yourself under thoughts of inadequacy and failure before you are even aware of it, before you’ve even given yourself a chance to consider your situation.When you get a phone call asking for you to come in for an interview, don’t let the panic of the past knock you down. Whatever your past interview failures might have been, they don’t have to contribute negatively to this situation -- unless you let them in. Pull away from your negative reflexes and give this new opportunity a chance -- that’s all that’s asked of you at this stage of positive thinking.

STEP 2
Recognize it as an isolated incident

It’s natural for us to weigh the balance of our experiences with everything we do, and more often than not it’s the right thing to do since it calls for some self-awareness. And it’s the right thing to do at this learning stage of positive thinking. However, to harbor negative past experiences as symptomatic of something larger -- some horrible and unstoppable trend in your life -- is to have surrendered to the experience in front of you before giving yourself another chance. A negative mentality thrives on a brand of groupthink -- a collective conclusion arrived at by adding the sum of incongruent parts without the benefit of nonconformist input. One moment you’re recalling past failures specific to the task at hand -- such as the interview -- and before long, you’re adding in other anxieties, such as family, girlfriend and terrorist attacks. This is not the way to go about positive thinking.

STEP 3
Resolve how to deal with it in the future

This step in positive thinking may be easier said than done, but only someone in deep denial is unable to acknowledge their primary mistakes. Few people relish confrontation with another person, and arguably even fewer enjoy it or can stomach it when that other “person” is an embodiment of their past actions and mistakes. Yet, unless you look straight into your past mistakes and stare them down, you will continue to be haunted by the negative thoughts they inspire.

STEP 4
Shift your mind to something different

Once you’ve established a positive line of thinking, move ahead. In short, don’t dwell on this any longer. You risk thinking something to death, and even if you’re using positive thinking to ”think it to death,” you’re still killing it. Self-confidence and the ability to trust one’s self are invaluable qualities, but when they’re overdone, they amount to deadly self-delusion. Consider the competent athlete. He doesn’t consider every single move and play he intends to make before executing them; he simply trusts his hands and his feet. He allows his experience and subconscious to carry his play, and if he has kinks or thorns in his game, he works them out in

practice.

- R.B.

10 Funny Flirting Facts

2008-02-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

So you’ve mastered the eye-contact game and can beckon a cute prospect with a few coy glances… but do you really know all there is to know about the fine art of come-hither? Just to make sure you’re up to speed, read on for some juicy tidbits that may up your cute quotient in no time.

1. Flirting is good for you. Studies show that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts, which boost their immunity and keep them healthy.

2. Think it ends at a little eye batting? Hardly—all told, scientists say there are 52 “flirting signals” used by humans. Of these, the hair flip is the most common.

3. In some places, flirting is illegal. In Little Rock, AK, an antiquated law is still on the books warning that engaging in playful banter may result in a 30-day jail term. In New York City, another outdated law mandates that men may be fined $25 for gazing lasciviously at a female; a second conviction stipulates the offender wear a pair of blinders whenever he goes out for a walk.

4. Why wait for Happy Hour? Lots of people get their flirt on during their morning commute. A full 62 percent of drivers have flirted with someone in a different vehicle while on the go, and 31 percent of those flirtations, it turns out, resulted in a date.

5. Flirting need not occur face to face. According to Pew Research, 40 percent of people who look for love online say they can easily flirt with someone via email or IM.

6. In the Victorian era, fans were the ultimate playful prop that could communicate all sorts of messages. A fan placed near the heart meant, You have won my love. A half-opened fan pressed to the lips suggested, You may kiss me. Hiding the eyes behind an open fan meant, I love you, while opening and closing the fan several times warned, You are cruel. Given how much a fan could come in handy, it’s a shame they ever invented air conditioning.

7. These days, cell phones do the flirting. In one survey, half of all mobile phone users have texted suggestive messages to keep things interesting while away from their amour.

8. Watch out, you can overdo it. According to the Social Issues Research Centre, the most common mistake people make when flirting is maintaining too much eye contact.

9. Sometimes, flirty gestures aren’t what they seem. Research has shown that men tend to routinely mistake friendly behavior for flirting.

10. Flirting is universal. A woman living in New York City and one in rural Cambodia may not have much in common, but when it comes to attracting a little attention, they both employ the very same move: smiling, arching their eyebrows, then averting their gaze and giggling. Animals flirt, too: Birds, reptiles, and even fish have their own way of strutting their stuff. Moral of the story: If the simple sea bass can act cute to enhance a romantic agenda, you can, too—so give it a go!

SOURCE: MSN Dating & Personals

Living With Regrets...

2008-02-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

You sometimes meet some people in your life & make some decisions that you will forever regret. For me, it's hard to live & regret decisions I made or regret having gotten involved with the 'wrong' person/people, but that's life. These things will envitably happen.

The hardest part, however, is the resentment that infects you like maggots to a sore. No matter how long ago it happened, no matter how you think you're over it, it's still there... lingering. Constantly, like a poison, slowing killing that part of you where it hurts the most.

They say "resentment is like drinking poison & waiting for the other person to die". That's such a truthful statement.

I don't want to end up like those persons who spend their entire lives stressing about not having taken that job or this trip... worse, ending up w/ a louse... having to deal with a situation you aren't comfortable with simply because you didn't fix it from the beginning.

I try to live without regrets, hard as it may be at times.

But sometimes, oh, sometimes you just wish you could go back & change things. But sadly, you can't... SIGH...

You live & you learn & you try to learn from your mistakes & while you do, I beg of you... try to live, having as little regret as is possible. The effort alone will be worth it if nothing else.

Valentine's Day Tips

2008-02-07T06:55:00.000-08:00

So, it's drawing near to that time of the month that can either scare the crap out of some of us or give others that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Here are a few tips for those of us who lean to the latter...

- Surveys show that couples exchange 36 million boxes of chocolates and 189 million roses on Valentine’s Day. But when you’re in a new relationship, chocolates and roses may not always be the right gift to give.

If you’re unsure how to handle Valentine’s Day dating and gift etiquette, read on for advice for when you’ve just met someone, when you’ve been dating for a few months and when you’re in a committed relationship.

When you have just met

Planning the day: It’s unrealistic to expect a big, romantic celebration at this stage of the game. “If you’ve had a date or two, it’s OK for one of you to say, ‘Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and even though we’ve only gone out a few times, I thought it would be fun to do something together, like catch a movie.’

Getting a gift: What if you two do get together that day—should you bring a present? It’s fine to give something small. For example, if you know your date collects things with pigs on them, giving her a pig refrigerator magnet says, “I pay attention to what you like."

When you have been dating for a few months

Planning the day: Sometimes you spend a few months with someone and you know, “I’ve met The One.” Other times, things are going well, but you couldn’t say for sure that you would expect to spend the rest of your life with this person. Nonetheless, if you’ve been going out for a few months, it is reasonable to expect that you’re going to make plans to do something for Valentine’s Day. You could say something like, ‘Valentine’s Day is in two weeks… do you want to pretend it doesn’t exist or do you want to do something?’

Getting a gift: No matter how giddy your sweetie makes you feel, give something meaningful but not inappropriately extravagant. So giving the sports buff tickets for the two of you to attend a Big 10 basketball game would be wonderful; renting out a skybox at a stadium and catering it would be completely over the top. Also, giving a gift that the two of you can enjoy together — tickets to an event, a night away together — can guarantee more shared good times ahead.

When you are in an established relationship

Planning the day: A funny thing happens on the way to Valentine’s Day once you’ve been dating for a long time—people tend to take the emphasis off of it and treat it just like any other day. Take the opportunity to celebrate together. It doesn’t have to be a classic candlelit dinner. Maybe it’s going shopping together at your local wine shop and cheese store and putting together a little picnic while watching a DVD of a good movie you two missed. Anything that can make the night about enjoying each other’s company will be a valuable gesture.

Getting a gift: A gift that shows how well you know each other’s lives can be wonderful. It may not be the most romantic thing, but some silk long underwear for a honey who’s always cold or a beer-of-the-month club for a someone who’s always interested in a new microbrew can be a terrific way to reflect how in touch you are with each other.

SOURCE: MSN Dating & Personals

Knowing When & How to Listen & When to Speak

2008-02-05T09:26:00.000-08:00

It's natural for us to want to speak all that is on your mind. We talk about our jobs, about our relationships, problems we face daily, etc., But how often do we listen to what others have to say?

Listening is an art many persons lack. It speaks to a greater respect & is usually greatly appreciated when it is excercised. Listening well isn't only important for friendships or relationships but also for more formal settings like interacting with coworkers, employees ir during a business meeting.

I often observe persons having a convo & while one is in the middle of a sentence, the other butts in, talking about a whole different topic. Or while one talks on, the other is lost in their own thoughts barely giving the speaker an ear. You see it in churches, at company meetings or even in much less formal situations like just a few friends hanging at a cafe.

I don't know about you but I find it sooo annoying. If someone has something to say, the least you can do is give em the darn respect of hearing them out!!

So start learning to listen by following a few of these tips below:

Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.

Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words.
Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are.

Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, "When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?"
Give feedback. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears!

Letting Go...

2008-02-04T08:37:00.001-08:00

Sometimes you go through things that seem like they're the worst things that could possibly happen to you. It could be a break-up, the loss of a loved one, the loss of your job or just some other really disappointing news.

Whatever it is, there is an end to it. You may not be able to see it that way when it's at its worst, but, believe me, there is.

It's hard to find solace sometimes, even harder to see it in any other light but a negative one. But sometimes, just sometimes there is a lesson to be learnt from tragedies.
Sometimes, some of these things happen for a good reason. You'd be surprised of the good you can find from a bad situation.

It can be really hard to let go & to take on a new perspective, but it can be done. There is a great freedom to be gained from releasing.

The song below is called "Lesson Learned" by Alicia Keys (ALBUM "As I Am".) It speaks to the importance of learning from bad situations. Listen on...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24gjW4Oqj2k

FOOD NEWZ

2008-02-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

Ever since we were little, we were told to eat our fruits & vegetables, and to avoid those sugary snacks that our mouths salivate for... yeah, right!

So before giving you a list of no-no foods, here are the top foods you should eat.

10 foods you should eat:

1. Sweet potatoes. They're loaded with carotenoids, vitamin C, potassium, and fiber.

2. 100% whole grain bread contains many more vitamins and minerals than its white counterpart.

3. Broccoli comes packed with vitamin C, carotenoids and folic acid.

4. Watermelon makes an excellent source of vitamin C and carotenoids.

5. Beans win the inexpensive, low fat, high protein award. Plus they contain lots of iron, folic acid and fiber.

6. Cantaloupe supplies all the daily requirements of vitamin A and C in just a quarter slice.

7. Spinach and kale provide calcium, fiber, carotenoids, and vitamin C.

8. Oranges contain vitamin C, plus abundant folic acid, potassium and fiber.

9. Oatmeal provides soluble fiber that helps lower bad cholesterol while improving good cholesterol.

10. 1% milk ranks as an excellent source of protein, with little or no artery-clogging fat or cholesterol.

10 foods you should never eat:

1. Quaker Oats 100 % Natural Oats and Honey Granola contain 3 teaspoons of sugar per half cup, and come laden with more artery-clogging fat than a McDonald's hamburger.

2. Gwaltney Great Dogs Chicken Franks contain 10 or 11 grams of fat per frank. Most hotdog manufacturers now offer pork, beef, turkey, or soy franks with zero to 2.5 grams of fat per frank.

3. Entemann's Rich Frosted Donut Variety Pack has as much saturated fat as 9 strips of bacon (10 grams).

4. Nissin Cup Noodles with Shrimp contain pre-fried and pre-salted noodles, compounded by the practice of using artery-clogging palm oil. They add 6 times as much sodium to the noodles as potato chips contain.

5. Frito-Lay's Wow Potato Chips are fried in olestra, a recently formulated fat substitute that some people cannot digest.

6. Oscar Mayer Lunchables contain heavily processed meat, cheese and mostly white-flour crackers.

7. Burger King's french fries have a salty coating that allow more fat to be absorbed.

8. Campbell's red label soups come brimming with salt.

9. Bugles are fried in highly saturated coconut oil. Baked Bugles are better.

10. Contadina's Alfredo Sauce contains a large amount of butter.

Generally Bad:

Solid fats

Heated, deep fried fats and oils

White refined flour and most store-bought pasta

White rice

Sugar (white and brown), molasses and soft drinks

Fashion Trend 2008: Wide Leg Pants

2008-02-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

Wide Leg Pants

As per the 1390's & 40's influences, wide-leg pants in 2008 are sophisticated and chic; waists work best a little higher and belted to avoid slouching in a sloppy way.

Sheer Clothes
Not limited to the usual though, 2008 also ushers in sheer skirts and pants - pair them with more modest bloomers or boy-shorts rather than a skimpy thong and you'll keep the look elegant.

The Scarf

A staple for so many for so long, Tobe are correctly highlighting that the scarf will be massive in 2008. True, this isn't a new trend as the scarf featured heavily in 2007 and after we all made investments in the look we weren't going to simply throw it to the back of our wardrobe so soon.

Men & Feet

2008-02-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ladies, would be turned of or freaked out by a guy who totally digs your appendages? One who constantly makes mention of how sexy your feet are?

For a lot of guys, bare female feet (nice ones, obviously) are as seductive as bare breasts. Get a nice pedicure with bright red toenails, don a dainty toe ring and shiny anklet, a pair of strappy sandals, and then stroll leisurely through the mall. You'll catch many men casting admiring glances at your sexy tootsies.

While some men have a fetish for feet, there are far more men who realize that girls like getting their feet rubbed and that a foot rub released endorphins that tend to “turn on” women. Furthermore, because it feels good and doesn’t appear to carry any risk, many women will allow a man to rub their feet, thus making her comfortable with his touch and creating the possibility that she might let him do some more touching. In most cases, it’s not so much that the man likes the woman’s feet, but that he sees the foot rub as a gateway to greater things.

Some men take it to the extreme & refuse to date a woman who doesn't have "nice feet". One guy said that he finds "nicely pedicured, skinny feet & toes" so sexy that he could never be attracted to a woman who doesn't have these qualities.

Hear what other guys have to say on the issue:

"If she can take care of her toes then she can take care of herself .... if a woman can pay attention to her toes, the last thing someone thinks about, then shes a keeper!!!!", says one guy.

"It says a lot about the woman - the person & her lifestyle".

"I love FEMALE feet. And I don't like just any ole woman's feet. They have to take care of them. Soft Skin, well kept. A woman who takes well care of her feet has my full attention".

Think about it... some men probably like a woman's foot the same way in which women love nice shoes on a man. Besides, if he can love your foot, why wouldn't he love the rest of you, all of you?

How to Sync Your Streaks with Your Hairstyle

2008-02-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

Chicas, ever wondered if highlights would suit you. Well, see below for guidelines for what may work for you...

Hair Length

If you have....

Short hair

- Do this...

If your coif stops around your chin, blend half-inch sections of color all around your head to add depth, enhancing your the shape of your cut.

Shoulder-length hair

- Do this...

Play up the pieciest part of your cut, or create the illusion of layers with a few quarter-inch to half-inch streaks of color around your face.

Long locks

- Do this...

Weave in lots of skinny, 1/8-inch strips all over the top layer of your hair, which will accentuate the length of your tresses.

Is is the Super Skinny Women that Men Want?

2008-01-31T14:46:00.000-08:00

I've asked tons of guys what kind of body type they like on a woman and although none of them were shouting out Rosie O'Donnell and Aretha Franklin's names, they weren't screaming for little Miss Nicole Richie either. All men like breasts (Hello Dolly!) and all men like buns; I think Jennifer lopez proved that one hands down. Needless to say, although big flabby bellies and cellulite didn't make the hit list, meat on a woman is thought to be attractive by virtually all men.

One particular guy, made an interesting point: "I like fit women. Skinny? Anyone can be skinny, but how many women can claim that they're fit? There's nothing more unattractive than a thin woman with no muscle tone. If that's the case, I'd prefer a more voluptuous woman, milky if you will."

So what do all you guys want? Well, if men were all the same, that would be quite an easy question to answer. But they're all different and so all men have differing desires when it comes to the abundance of women that come in all shapes and sizes. Whereas some guys prefer petite women and all the tiny things that come with them, other guys admitted that they love bigger women simply because they seem "more comfortable with themselves." But one thing that just about all these guys agreed on is that they don't like those lollipop-looking women. You know, the ones with big heads that stand out from the rest of the body. It just doesn't look healthy or attractive. And needless to say, there's the constant yapping about the need to diet.

Although the mainstream media usually sexualizes the fit and thin, there are plenty of big boned women out there who are the object of many a man's adoration. Buffy the Body, Tocarra and even Queen Latifah (lesbian or not) are heavily adored by men worldwide. Does their size hinder them from being sexual? No. Is it possible that guys only adore them because they're loaded? Maybe.

Obviously, no one likes a glutton; after all, it is one of the seven deadly sins. But a healthy girl who exercises and takes care of herself is quite desirable for all men. Men do look at models and actresses with lustful thoughts, but in reality, lust and long-term relationships don't usually go hand in hand.

Dating Tips

2008-01-30T07:12:00.000-08:00

Although dating is not rocket science, the experience sometimes feels like science fiction. Often, unrealistic expectations lead to needless dating drama. The following steps provide actual ways to make dating a pleasant experience for both of you.

1. Stop complaining. The good ones are not all taken. If they were, you would be sipping pina coladas on a beach with your beloved right now.

2. Be less critical. Are super models breaking down your door begging you for attention? Are moguls whisking you away to Spain for tapas? No? Perhaps, it's time to accept a date simply because someone was lovely enough to ask you.

3. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to be who we think our date wants that we miss out on being loved & appreciated for "you".

4. Step outside of your box. Behavioural Insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result. In other words, every time you tick off your list of "must haves and can't dos" you limit yourself to dating similar people. Has that worked for you so far?

5. Have fun! Even if you're 10 minutes into the worst date ever, a sense of humor goes a long way. Every hideous detail can be used later to regale your friends with laughter.

'Bad' Things that are Good For You

2008-01-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

This article needs no disclaimer. It speaks for itself so just dive in & enjoy. I sure likes me a few of these 'bad' things. Hee, hee, hee...

9) Beer - The newest bad kid on the block, beer has long been overshadowed by its healthier alcoholic cousins. While no one's suggesting you switch that glass of antioxidant-rich Pinot Noir for a tall glass of lager, there's still that beer gut to worry about new research has suggested that moderate beer intake can actually improve cardiovascular function.

8) Anger - If you're one of those people who tends to bottle things up, only to explode ... don't hold it in so long. Studies show that bursts of anger here and there are good for your health, and can be an even more effective coping mechanism than becoming afraid, irritated or disgusted. Anger, however, is best in moderation: stay angry for long periods of time and you'll be plagued with a host of health issues, like blood pressure, sleep disorders and lung damage.

7) Coffee - This is one of the most debated substances around. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Both? The consensus, now seems to favor those who enjoy thier morning jolt. Studies claim coffee is a major source of antioxidants in our diet and can help lower your risk of diabetes. Something in the beans is also thought to ease the onset of cirrhosis of the liver and pancreatitis, good news for those who like to party hard all night before their morning caffeine boost.

6) LSD - Check out this interesting science: In heavy drinkers, small doses of LSD have been thought to help bypass the rock-bottom stage of alcoholism and prevent relapses.

5) Sunlight - Exposure to the sun's rays is necessary to survive, but can also kill you in gross, cancerous quantities. Asthmatics, at least, could benefit from measured doses of ultraviolet rays, according to scientists. Sunlight suppressed the immune reactions that cause asthma and could be used to treat humans afflicted with the disease in the future. And sunlight even if indirect, such as on a shaded porch is known to boost the mood. Extra sunlight can help office workers avoid afternoon drowsiness, a recent study found.

4) Marijuana - Marijuana, often associated w/ memory loss, is ironically now being hyped as a way to stave off the ultimate form of memory loss Alzheimer's. Recent studies in mice suggest that anti-inflammatories found in the drug prevent the clumping of brain proteins, one major cause of the disease. It's medicinal..!

3) Red Wine - A crucial ingredient in the diets of the world's heart-healthiest populations, wine has long been known to have potent anti-cancer and artery-protecting benefits. The key, some studies indicate, is an antioxidant found specifically in the skin of red wine grapes, called resveratrol. The latest studies even link resveratrol to greater endurance, a reduction in gum disease and Alzheimer's. White wine, which is fermented after the skins are removed, is less beneficial according to some studies.

2) Chocolate - Chocolate lovers rejoice: study after study lately has touted the magical benefits of the indulgent treat, which is packed with the antioxidants flavonols that prevent certain cancers and keep your arteries from clogging. The most recent news? These powerful chemicals may even increase blood flow to the brain, warding off dementia. Just stick to the highest cocoa content possible -the bars packed with sugar don't help your health one bit.

1) Sex - Scientists have found that the benefits of sex go beyond immediate, ahem, gratification and satisfying the goal of procreation. Besides the obvious evolutionary purposes, we can all take pleasure in the news that having sex is an easy way to reduce stress, lower cholesterol and improve circulation throughout the body. As if you needed another excuse.

SOURCE: LiveScience

Are You a Techno-Addict?

2008-01-26T06:12:00.000-08:00

They're not called "Crackberries" for nothing. Some people may be as addicted to Blackberries and other personal electronics as junkies are to drugs.

These over-wired people are so focused on their gadgets, they neglect relationships with other people, John O'Neill, director of addictions services for the Menninger Clinic in Houston. said.

Communication Aids such as texting and e-mail may actually hamper our abilities to have more important face-to-face conversations.

But some experts object to labeling the techno-savvy as addicts without verifying that they meet the precise psychological definition of addiction.

O'Neill admitted that there is not enough research to establish whether excessive technology use qualifies as addiction, but cited people who can’t sit through a movie without checking their cell phones or make it through dinner without peeking at their Blackberries as potential addicts.
"Technology can become more than a passing problem and more like an addiction." He listed some danger signs: "You become irritable when you can't use it. The Internet goes down and you lose your mind. You start to hide your use."

Whether or not it qualifies as addiction, O'Neill said, our all-consuming relationships with technology are getting in the way of more important relationships — with people.
"I believe that technology has benefited us greatly," O'Neill said, "but my concern is that many of us have taken it too far, and it's become a substitute for those necessary face to face conversations."

"Addiction hijacks the brain's natural reward center, the nucleus accumbens. This center rewards humans for acquiring things they need biologically, such as sex and food, by releasing dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with happiness. If it causes a release of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens, it acts like addiction. That’s true of lots of things that people end up liking to do. So basically I think probably one could become addicted to technology."

Spouses who Fight Live Longer??

2008-01-26T05:43:00.000-08:00

Hmm... you think?

=================

A good argument with your spouse could be just what the doctor ordered.

Preliminary results from a survey of married couples suggest that disputing husbands and wives who hold in their anger die earlier than expressive couples.

"When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict," said researcher Ernest Harburg, professor emeritus with the University of Michigan School of Public Health and Psychology Department. "Usually nobody is trained to do this. If they have good parents, they can imitate, that's fine, but usually the couple is ignorant about the process of resolving conflict." So while conflict is inevitable, the critical matter is how couples resolve it.

"The key matter is, when the conflict happens, how do you resolve it?" Harburg said. "When you don't, if you bury your anger, and you brood on it and you resent the other person or the attacker, and you don't try to resolve the problem, then you're in trouble."

The findings add to past research showing that the release of anger can be healthy. For instance, one study revealed when people are angry they tend to make better decisions, perhaps because this emotion triggers the brain to ignore irrelevant cues and focus on the meat of the matter. Individuals who express anger might also have a sense of control and optimism over a situation, according to another study.

Bottled anger adds to stress, which tends to shorten lives, many studies show.

Harburg said the results are preliminary, and his team is now collecting 30-year follow-up data.

SOURCE: http://www.livescience.com/

Over a Nude Butt???

2008-01-26T05:14:00.000-08:00

I saw this article on Yahoo news today. I find this so hilarious for so many reasons. You're telling me that after 5 whole years & possibly tons of reruns, the FCC only just thought it appropriate to fine the network? Are you kidding me? In addition, doesn't that show usually come on at 9pm or somewhere close to that time? So if the FCC was trying to protect children's innocence by implementing that clause, shouldn't it be about bedtime at that hour? Talk about "a late thought" & too much time on your hands. Walt Disney must have stirred in his grave:)

================
WASHINGTON - The Federal Communications Commission has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations over a 2003 broadcast of cop drama NYPD Blue.

The fine is for a scene where a boy surprises a woman as she prepares to take a shower. The scene depicted "multiple, close-up views" of the woman's "nude buttocks" according to an agency order issued late Friday.

ABC is owned by the Walt Disney Co. The fines were issued against 52 stations either owned by or affiliated with the network.

FCC's definition of indecent content requires that the broadcast "depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities" in a "patently offensive way" and is aired between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.

The agency said the show was indecent because "it depicts sexual organs and excretory organs — specifically an adult woman's buttocks."

The agency rejected the network's argument that "the buttocks are not a sexual organ."

SOURCE: Yahoo! News

Why do Women sleep with Married Men (and vice versa)?

2008-01-24T14:43:00.000-08:00

Why? Why would a single (or even attached) woman chase after a married man when she knows that he's attached to another woman?

Easy, it starts off because, as is the human condition, the food on someone else's plate always looks (and sometimes tastes) better than what you're having.

According to one study, many women tend to engage in something the study referred to as "mate copying." In other words, such women tend to believe that if another woman is either after a man or with a man, there must be something he possesses that's worthy of pursuit.

It happens all the time. Ever seen a woman out with male friends, whether it be at a club or restaurant, & the instant women think she's with one of them, they begin flirting with the said gentlemen like flies after sweets.

Maybe it's because they assume that if a good-looking woman is with such a man, they need to prove that they're just as hot as her.

Maybe it's because these women love a challenge, drama, no strings, or even simply the thrill of sin.

Whatever the case, many a woman has revealed that sex with attached men is usually incredible. Why? Because he's been eating chicken every day, and when these women give them a piece of their action, it's like feeding them duck a l'orange -- something exotic.

These are some reasons given by a few women why they engage in the ultimate sin...

- it's more exciting to be sneaky

- it's all about competition

- a ring denotes experience

- there are usually no strings attached

When any woman knowingly sleeps with a married man, even though I fully believe it's the married party's responsibility to remain faithful, it makes women just as swiny as their male counterparts. And don't even get me started on the amount of married women who spread themselves about.

Nevertheless, I can understand why the sex can be so great for and with attached men. But I believe that, for every man who would cheat on his woman, there is a man out there who is content with the woman he's committed to. My advice? If you want to have an affair, meet your wife at a bar and act like strangers, then go to a seedy motel and get nasty while you ask for her name.

(THANKS FOR THE ARTICLE V.E)

Abortion Issues

2008-01-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

Abortion -
• (noun) 1) the deliberate termination of a human pregnancy. 2) the natural expulsion of a fetus from the womb before it is able to survive independently. 3) (informal, derogatory) something imperfectly planned or made.

Abortion - a very sensitive topic. This has proven to be the cause for many breakups, many arguments, much resentment in relationships. He isn't ready for a child, she's torn between losing him & her unborn child...

Is there ever a situation in which it is acceptable to have an abortion...?

The young lady whose life & health is at risk if she carries the child?

The young couple still in College, about to do final exams & is still living with their parents? Should they lose the respect of their parents & possible get kicked out of school or should they have simply been smart enough to have engaged in protective sex?

And if it is to be done, whose decision should it be ? Seeing the woman will be the one to carry it, does she hold more right in making that decision?

What about the religious implications? Shouldn't you follow what the Holy Book says? Or do you bypass those views since you already aren't living like the Bible dictates you should in most other areas of your life?

My views on the issue are perhaps as conflicted as some of yours hence the limited content. Lemme hear how you feel about it.

-Shalom

Fashion Tips for Chicks!!

2008-01-24T07:24:00.000-08:00

A) Try on all of your favorite clothes. Take notes on how they fit and flatter you. Then shop for similar colors, fabrics, shapes and lengths.

B) A great fit can make an outfit, just as a poor fit can break it!

C) A well-cut suit is one of the most flattering outfits you can own. Remember: dark tones create a long line.

D) Choose a fingertip length jacket or one that falls mid-hip. Pants should be straight leg or boot cut and the hem should be worn slightly long.

E) Select flat knit, fine rib and jersey tops; Choose pants with flapless pockets, flat fronts with just enough stretch for added comfort.

F) Know thyself - Know your proportions!

Skinny bottom half - Wear a full top over narrow pants
Short waisted - Wear a long top and short skirt
Petite torso - Wear a fitted top with full pants
Long waisted - Pair a short top with long bottoms

G) Show off the trimmest parts of your body by combining a tight fitting piece with a loose fitting one.

H) Any color worn head to toe in a clean, unbroken line will produce a dynamically slimming effect.

I) Don't worry if separates don't match exactly. Tonal variations are a creative alternative.

J) Taller bodies can take larger prints and more contrast.

K) The darker a print's background, the slimmer the look.

L) Blouses: a collared shirt always gives a torso a few good inches and frames the face handsomely.

M) A slim v-neck makes the neck appear longer and is usually very flattering.

N) Boatnecks are great for minimizing waists and hips, while maximizing sexy shoulders.

O) If your legs are fuller inside, try a side slit. If your legs are fuller outside, a mid-front or back slit is a better choice.

P) There is never an excuse for panty lines! A thong is a girl's best friend - they even come with tummy control.

Q) Bright colors bring attention to an area - make sure you wear them wisely and only on your most flattering body parts.

R) A shoulder bag tucked quietly under the arm is most flattering.

S) Stilettos are back and in spite of the discomfort at times - they make your legs look like a million dollars!

Acceptable & Unacceptable Public Displays of Affection

2008-01-23T14:46:00.000-08:00

Majority of women & men aren't going to demand a full-on make-out session on the street, but most will be ok with at least the three pillars of Public Displays of Affection:

1) hand holding

2) a kiss goodbye

3) affectionate invasions of space.

Of course, there will be others looking for more than just the basics, wanting you to jump through hoops to show the world exactly who you're with. (Women especially). Look below to see some Acceptable & Unacceptable signs of PDA, according to SE.

HAND HOLDING

(PDA meter: Acceptable)

Holding your partners' hand in public, whether to lead him/her in the right direction or just to feel close to the person, is fine in just about any setting. It isn't overly intimate to make one squeamish, but it is intimate enough to let your partner see it as a sign of affection and a declaration of your status as a couple. Proceed at will.

KISSING

(PDA meter: Acceptable, within limits)

As a greeting, kissing is most definitely on the “acceptable” list and is fairly standard in most relationships. Obviously, this extends to personal social situations, and can be bypassed in professional arenas. For example, it's likely that your girlfriend will expect a kiss hello when you meet at your favorite restaurant for dinner, but if ladies, if you stop by the office to drop off a file your guy forgot at home, please skip the kiss. To keep kisses acceptable, keep them brief and abstain from continued tongue action throughout the course of an outing. Or get a room!

PET NAMES

(PDA meter: Unacceptable)

Excluding common nicknames that transcend your relationship, pet names should not make it outside the privacy of your own home. The last thing anyone needs to know is that your lady calls you her "teddy bear" or that your guy calls you "snookums ; your reputation might not be able to take the beating.

It might be hard to avoid the odd "sweetheart" or "baby," and the sarcastic “yes, dear,” but try to keep them to a minimum and avoid responding to them to discourage future use.

BABYING

(PDA meter: Can be deemed unacceptable)

It's always nice to do things for each other, and generally speaking it can be a sign of a strong and healthy relationship. Unfortunately, watching two grown people feed each other or groom one another can upset even the strongest of stomachs. So, aside from gentlemanly behaviors like fetching drinks from the bar or giving up a jacket on a cold night, excessive babying is unacceptable at all times. This goes for talking to your partner like he/she's a child, as well as treating the person like they can't look after themselves.

Do Women really know what they want?

2008-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

A male friend of mine, frustrated from constantly being turned down by women, asked me recently "What do women really want? I don't get it. You do all you think needs to be done and it still doesn't work."
I smiled... then told him to write exactly what he thinks. He did. Interesting, I must say. Read on...

- If you listen to women talk, you would believe that they want men who are sensitive and caring. However, in reality, most young women under the age of 30 tend to snub the shy guys and nuke the nerds. They often go for the Lexus-driving, baby-mother dodging Don Juans who either break their heart or their face - whichever comes first.

Some men are increasingly frustrated by the kind of roles they are forced to play to attract young women.
Women always say they want sensitive guys who listen, but I think this is bull. Maybe older women want sensitive guys, but the young girls are different. When I tried to be sensitive, girls dissed me, but when I pretend to be a girl's man by dressing flashy, being confident and talking the talk, young women are breaking down my door.

Evolutionary behaviour dictates that males must compete for access to females of child-bearing age by competing with each other physically for resources necessary to mate, and for the sexual attention of females. Second, a male's reproductive success depends on how many females he mates with, and not vice versa. To be less than an alpha male is to commit 'Darwinian suicide', hence the sensitive man image won't necessarily attract young, nubile women of child-bearing age.

Society reinforces this sort of primitive hardwiring developed over several eons in the human genetic code. For instance, in the recent play, Oliver and the Genie, the female lead character is attracted to the most dangerous character in the play, a rebellious slave,'Takku', instead of a cowardly man who is madly in love with her.

"Women are attracted to power in any form it comes in - business, sports. They are drawn to aggressive men, you can forget all the modern day talk about tentative men because in many ways, the aggressive male, the alpha male is the one who always gets to mate. That is hardwired into our genetic code, said one psychologist.

Men know that the 'women-need-a-sensitive-man` thinking is just feminist driven. Experience says different.

"The young girls don`t want a sensitive guy. They want to be with a man who can be like a father figure in their lives, and one that their girlfriends will admire because of his good looks, his car, his bank book or his clothes. It`s just the name of the game, one young man said.

The `bad-boy` image

The belief that girls like bad boys may be a self-fulfilling prophecy, often repeated by both sexes.
The girls-go-for-bad-boys theory has its roots in high school where popularity and attention is gained by virtue of who a girl is seeing rather than her own merit. A lot of teenage girls gain attention and notoriety by going out with the most popular boy in high school who, at times, is the most aggressive, powerful guy - the alpha male.

I disagree with that theory. I don't think women like dangerous men. Women are attracted to men who compensate for things they need. The kind of woman who is attracted to power is the kind who had no such thing in her life before, and feels empowered to be with a powerful man, says one psychologist.

Further, psychologists say men have a deadly fear of sensitivity because they associate it with homosexuality. Their fears are borne out like comments like this...

"...I like romantic, sensitive men - but not too sensitive. I don't want a funny guy. You have be a real M-A-N. I sometimes find myself drawn to rough, very masculine men, too. They
may have a few faults, and we think "oh, I'll change him once we're together, but uh-uh,
that doesn't work, trust me, honey, I know". Those sort of men don't change short of an act of God."

At the end of the day, we men still wait to see what it is women really really want. Perhaps y'all can tell us when you've figured it out".

ABOUT PSH

2008-01-22T06:47:00.001-08:00

Hello Y'all,

I was just thinking that since I never had the decency to introduce myself to y'all formally, I would give you some insight on what I've been up to, what I like doing & show you some of my favourite people. Not that I have to but since y'all have been so nice & I like you so much, I decided I'd oblige you. Kidding. Hope you enjoy!

Peace!!

Men & Cologne

2008-01-17T06:06:00.000-08:00

There is always almost one sure turn on for women when it comes on to men... A man that smells damn good. It probably won't get you into bed with her, probably won't even get you a kiss but you can be sure that each time you pass by her, you'll get that look... the one that tells you that if she wasn't hitched, you could probably have her:-) Yah... right!

But on a more serious note, ladies, how many times have you been out & a young man passes by you wearing the nicest smelling cologne and you go "damn, he smells good!!!". I know I have many times. You even take a second look at him to see if he looks as scrumptous as he smells.

I was in the club about a week or so ago trying to find a not-too-crowded-but-bar-accessible-area in which to stand. Boy oh boy, did I ever find the wrong spot to stand in. Whew!! There was a young man who had clearly either never heard of cologne or was wearing one that smelt like horrible body odor!! I stood there for as long as I could... until I could no longer hold my breath. In his case, it was waaaaay TOO LITTLE!

Later in the night, we came across another young man who was wearing waaay TOO MUCH!

I came upon an article that gives men pointers on how much to wear, when to wear etc... Read on...

Cologne can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Most men make the mistake of thinking they need to choose a single scent for themselves. Just as you have more than one pair of shoes, you should have more than one scent to call upon.

Knowing cologne basics so that you choose the right scent for the right occasion is, perhaps, the most underrated of skills. If you choose wisely and apply sparingly, only a few people will know and appreciate your olfactory considerations. Choose poorly and apply liberally and you’ll saunter through the day leaving expensive contrails of eau de too much behind you as others hold their breath. So, be an expert scent wearer by following thisguide to cologne basics.

Where to wear it?

Wearing cologne to work is generally acceptable, but cologne almost becomes a necessary fashion accessory when going out at night. A light citrus-based scent is perfect for an afternoon outing, but a special evening out calls for a stronger scent with spice undertones or musky notes that will mix with your own natural pheromones.

Where to spray it?

Cologne basics stipulate that applying cologne strategically is more important than you think. A little under each ear ensures that a woman leaning in close to talk will take note of your scent. Your face and chin are the obvious spots, but your chest is the best location for the cologne to mix with your own natural scent and slowly make itself known as it wafts toward your collar.

When to wear it?

You’ll need more than one cologne since what you apply for the daylight hours simply won’t meet the mood and atmosphere of the night. A light citrus scent or woods-based scent are perfect for daytime activities, like work. Nighttime, however, requires a scent with deeper mystery. Thus, you’ll want to use a cologne with spicy notes or a musk-based scent.

How much to wear?

Treat your cologne as a secret you share with only a few people - or at least those within your close personal space. Apply a very sparse amount under each ear and on your torso. You may not think this is enough, but cologne actually mixes with your body and intensifies over time. Far too many men make the mistake of applying more because they cannot smell it when they first spray it on, or they shake out a palm full because think they need more. The truth is: A well-chosen cologne applied in small amounts will get your more attention than if you bathed in it.

There are 4 types of cologne: SPICE, WOODS, MUSK, CITRUS. See examples of each below:

SPICE - John Varvatos Vintage

WOODS - Burberry London for Men

MUSK - Gucci Pour Homme II

CITRUS - LaCoste Elegance

Cologne often gets a bad reputation from all those would-be lotharios out there overcompensating with scents in a vain attempt to make up for other shortcomings. But real men do wear cologne; they just don’t pour it over themselves. Take a moment and think about who you are and what you do. Where will you wear your new cologne? More importantly, who will get close enough to you to notice your scent? Always remember: Choose wisely and apply sparingly.

APOLOGIES....

2008-01-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know if there exists anyone who detests having to apologise more than I do... especially when the situation really doesn't warrant an apology. To make matters worse, when you do apologise, I find nothing more frustrating & upsetting than having the apology rejected. After you swallowed your pride, humbled yourself, played the bigger person & said the damn thing.

I keep going back to a quote I either read in some book or heard from a movie... "Never say you're sorry too often... You'll end up being a sorry ass". Hee, hee hee.

I love it! Perhaps that's my 'sorry ass' way of justifying my hesitation to apologise. But it works. If the situation undoubtedly & clearly requires an apology, then I will, without restraint. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong but don't expect me to say I'm sorry just because you feel offended about something I said or did. You better believe that until & unless I see the logic behind you feeling offended, then you're stuck with those 'bad' feelings.

I usually try my hardest to be extremely careful about what I say & do so as to avoid apologies. But too often, I've found, because you try to be nice & courteous, people feel a need to take advantage & play on your emotions...

...well, to hell with those people!!

LOL! Do I sound like I'm going crazy or do you feel me?

Don't worry, I'm just fine. SSDD. Same Shit, Different Day... Just Blogging Away. That's the Strawberries & Cream of it. Have a lovely day!!!

KIDS DO SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

2008-01-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

I don't know very much people that love children as much as I do. I feel that once I start having the little ones, I'll go about 6. Well, that's probably pushing it a bit but you get what I mean.

I find children just simply delightful. They do the funniest, cutest things, they think the funniest things & then they say what they think & they leave you in nothing but utter laughter.

These days they are so exposed & seem so far ahead of their years. They analyze things like older children & adults & my my... are they honest.

I have a 'little' friend & she is simply a doll. She's only 6 years old but going on 16. She asked me recently..."Aunty Patrice, do you like boys? I don't. They're just icky & they chit-chat too much:)". Thank God she feels that way now. Give her 10 years. All that will be gone out the road.

If there is a not-so-nice thing you want to tell someone and have it sound cute at the same time, tell a kid:) Never tell them something you don't want repeated especially the ones between 4-7. This video speaks very clearly to this. It is HILARIOUS! Watch on...

Changes in Your Relationship That Your Partner May Hate

2008-01-07T17:12:00.001-08:00

GUYS: When you first started dating her, you were always clean shaven, you smelled good and you were polite in her presence.
GIRLS: Your hair & nails were always done & you did your best to dress as sexy as possible whenever you'd go out with him.

But ladies, now that you’re in it for the long haul, you might feel that you can skip the hot black dress and you guys may feel it's okay to let the occasional fart loose in her presence.

Often, when a relationship becomes long term, you start to get lazy. You stop doing the little things that you used to do, and you start doing new things that you wouldn't have dared to do when you first met. Many of these relationship changes are natural, but some are also highly aggravating.

Below are some of the irritating changes that occur in long-term relationships - changes so grave that they might make you re-evaluate your entire relationship. As you become more comfortable, feel free to be at ease, but be mindful not to commit any of the following relationship sins.

You get laid back with your personal appearance

Now that you’re in for the long run, you might feel that you can loosen up on some of the hygienic duties that you stuck to before. Sure, you can be more casual now that you’ve been together for a while, but don’t forget that looking good, smelling fresh and keeping in shape all help keep the attraction alive. If you stop taking care of yourself, he or she’ll assume that you don’t care what they think about you. This will make your partner feel like you don’t care about him/her anymore.

GUYS:
You start “letting go” around her

Why she hates it: Most couples reach a level of comfort in a long-term relationship where they don’t hesitate to unleash the occasional fart or burp around each other. Although she probably doesn’t mind this type of intimacy occasionally, if you consistently subject her to your bodily functions, she will start to dislike it, and her attraction may start to wane. She will feel like you see her as one of your boys instead of someone who is special to you.

You start forgetting big dates like birthdays and anniversaries

Why she hates it: You used to make a big deal for her birthday, and now you barely remember to call her. From her perspective, this lack of consideration shows her that you are progressively putting less effort into the relationship and taking her for granted. Remember that taking her out to celebrate is a big way to keep the romance going.

You stop complimenting her

Why she hates it: Do you notice when she changes her hairstyle or when she gets a new dress? Well, tell her. If you stop giving her compliments, she’ll feel that you’ve stopped noticing her altogether. A woman needs a certain amount of attention and positive feedback from her man. If she’s not getting it from you, she may start to look elsewhere for that attention, so don’t forget to remind her how hot she is.

GIRLS:
You get temperamental

Why he hates it: If you constantly get irritable when you used to control your temper around him, he’ll have good reason to get annoyed. Consider his perspective: He entered the relationship with a seemingly even-tempered young lady, but then she turns out to be an impatient, bad-tempered stress case. How fair is that?

You don’t compromise

Why he hates it: You used to be happy to spend time with his friends, but now you’re not as willing. Or maybe you used to put up with seeing the occasional wrestling match and now you only want to watch romance flicks. If you used to make compromises, but now you’re completely inflexible, you might want to reconsider your change of behavior. Of all the relationship changes, both men & women hate, this is probably the most serious offense.

So, in essence, you both need to be mindful of how changes, little as they sometimes seem, can affect your bond. Getting comfortable w/ someone doesn't mean you stop caring.

Types of Women you should NEVER Date!!

2008-01-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Certain ladies shouldn't be touched with a 10-foot pole, no matter how hot they are. Instead of giving in to temptation, distract yourself from the desire. Take a class, help kids or take in a ballgame, but whatever you do, stay away from these women you can never date. Generally, the reason to avoid these ladies has nothing to do with the woman herself, but it has everything to do with her context in your life.

Read on for a list of women you can never date, and save your reputation, your bank account, your job, and your friendships.

Your best friend's sister

The woman you know the best will often appeal to you the most. But if she is your best friend's sister, getting lucky can mean two months of fun followed by the need to move to another part of the city. She makes the “women you can never date” list because as soon as sis becomes sweetheart, you'll be walking on eggshells with your buddy. Gone are the days of complaining to your friend about your women troubles because the conflict of interest ruins the good times, and the first time you make a mess of things, he will likely want to beat your ass.

Your secretary

There are plenty of reasons to keep your mitts off the help. It can get you into all kinds of trouble -- legal and otherwise -- should the relationship go south. But even if the fling goes well, you have problems. You'll soon be tempted to push the limits of what you can get away with at work, perhaps in the janitor's closet. Love at the office is an enormous distraction from your work, especially if you are in charge of her. Others are always watching what you are doing. Worst of all, once the relationship ends, she will enjoy leverage over you, and may use it simply by gossiping about what happened in the aforementioned closet.

The ex-girlfriend

Ex-girlfriends are one of the types of women you can never date. Yet, the ex-girlfriend becomes increasingly seductive as loneliness sets in. After several years of eating the only three meals you know how to prepare, you can easily get blown away when she follows up chicken parmesan one night with chicken marsala the next. She might clean your apartment one day while you were getting loaded at happy hour, and you'll want her there permanently. The loneliness will make you forget the reason the two of you broke up in the first place, but should you jump back into the relationship, those reasons will resurface in no time.

The "hot trailer girl"

Have you seen Maury Povich? Let that show be a warning to you if you are smitten by the hooker with a heart of gold. It's fool's gold -- the hot trailer girl is definitely one of the girls you can never date. The scenario goes something like this: You were in the club enjoying the company of a young woman whose breasts were rubbing against you like two sea lions on a beach, and then you got confused. Enjoy the one-nighter, but the next time you see her it would probably be best to go back through the door.

Your friend's ex

When you witness the breakup of your buddy and his hot girlfriend, your mind will invariably wander to a place better left untouched. Since you’ve spent lots of time around her, you already have an established relationship -- albeit a non-sexual one. Chances are you already imagined what it would be like while she was still dating your pal, and her new freedom may pique your interest, but be forewarned: She is one of the women you can never date. If you value your friendship, avoid her at all costs. What men forget to consider is the aftermath of hooking up with a friend’s ex. The word will spread to everyone else in your circle about what type of friend you are, and you’ll kill your own reputation. It doesn’t matter how long ago they broke up, whether they’re friends now or not, if your buddy’s replaced her with a new girlfriend, the answer is always no. Unless, of course, you enjoy getting your ass kicked:)

The high-maintenance piranha

If you value your money and your manhood, the high-maintenance chick is also one of the women you can never date. She will love you for your increased earnings at first, but then will consider you to be a soulless workaholic incapable of intimacy. Once you've built up a nest, her divorced friends will start directing her on how to devour that nest egg whole, just like a snake. She will give you the screw of a lifetime, but not the kind you’re seeking.

The stripper

Of the women you can never date, the stripper is worse than the hot trailer girl. No, she is not stripping to pay for school. Yes, she might be a hard-luck case, but sooner or later you will be acting like a body guard, thinking you can protect her honor from a rowdy bachelor party. If you think jealousy is beneath you, wait until you observe a private dance from afar when the john offers an extra C-note for a happy ending.

Suicide

2008-01-07T09:14:00.000-08:00

Suicide (Latin 'sui caedere', to kill oneself) is the act of intentionally terminating one's own life. Suicide occurs for any number of reasons, often relating to depression, substance abuse, shame, avoiding pain, financial difficulties or other undesirable situations. (WIKEPEDIA)

... a word that makes my chest hurt whenever I have to say it. We often hear of persons who suffer from Depression. Persons not satisfied w/ their lives, unhappy for various different reasons.... and then you sometimes hear that they've died. Death by Suicide.

In my short lifetime, I've known about a handful of persons that have committed the act. It's easy to think that it can't or would never happen to you but too often, I think we underestimate Depression.

We are all built differently. Some of us are stronger than others. We all internalise situations differently and unfortunately some persons situations take control of them.

A quote that has always given me solace is that "God never gives us more than we can bear". I remember having a convo w/ a friend who was going through some stuff and his response to me saying that was "...until the Devil gets to you". I was a bit taken aback by him saying it but it put me face to face with the fact that people really do interpret situations differently.

Do persons that commit suicide simply 'take the easy way out'? Do they give up without trying?

We're all human so it's totally natural that we'll be disappointed when things don't go as planned. How we deal at this point is what determines how well we rise.

I've found that deaths by suicide are harder to deal with because they're self inflicted. People are dying from accidents, by murder, from sickness... but having to deal with the fact that someone would just take their own life... that's tough. The ones they leave behind are left to deal with the 'should have', 'would have', 'could have'. They are left wondering what they missed, what went wrong.

Does talking about the problems help? Does therapy/counselling help... who knows? I guess there are some questions that will never be answered. In the mean time, we all have to try to be supportive of each other and try to be open & real about problems that others face.

Peace & Love.

Fashion by GEORGETTE A SMITH.

2008-01-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

Meet Georgette A. Smith - Makeup Artist & Stylist to the Stars. Without a doubt, "G", (as she is affectionately known to moi) is definitely one of Jamaica's most talented.

She's extremely smart (runs in the family), has the sweetest persona, she will give you goose bumps when she opens her mouth & sings, she's a pro on the dance floor, she has the best fashion sense (hence her success in Styling) and she is undoubtedly one of the 'baddest' Makeup Artists around. Ah... how could I ever forget to mention what a knockout she is:) I'm sure you can see for yourself on her pic.

"G" is the person you call when you want to be a star for a day. Be it a wedding, a party, a dinner date... she has the wardrobe & the makeup to have you look & feel you best.

Below is an article she did that ran in The Jamaica Gleaner, Monday, January 7, 2008 and at the end, a video for which her portfolio was Makeup & Styling & in which she appears.

"Fashion trends that started in 2007 did not disappear with the pop of a champagne bottle, or with the sound of fireworks lighting up the sky. Instead, some spilled over into 2008.

Bubble Dresses are still in for 2008. From oversize bags and blouses to wedge-heeled shoes, some trends are here for a while. Space odyssey, the '80s era, metallics: neon-coloured clothing, and '70s-style animal and floral prints are some of the main fashion items that have been carried over".

Designs

"The past is an inspiration, as is now evident and being featured by numerous designers", Ms. Smith notes.

"My fashion forecast for 2008 includes trends from the '50s and mid-'60s. The entire craze of the '50s and '60s will be in style again. Items such as high-heeled pumps (some tailored), pencil skirts, wide belts, loose blouses with puffy collars and sleeves, floaty blouses and dresses in solid, vibrant colours whether floral or print, appear to be the rage once again. Grey, black, white, tan, yellow and purple will still remain prominent colours this year, grey, black and white are problematic colours that should be worn with discretion, so launder carefully"

"Oversize Bags are still a hit. Bright colours and patent textures are a couple of the changes made to them.

Peep Toe Shoes are another trend that has been carried over into '08. Wedges with patent finishes are now more fashionable".

Other colours to watch:

Bright colours with subtle undertones which include lemon yellow, lime green, light grey and orange undertones.
Neutrals with extremely washed pastels.
Blue (various shades of blues), ivory and silver.
Red (various shades of red), olive green, army, and purple (various shades of purple).
Canary Yellow, mustard yellow, pink and fuchsia (grounded into earth tones such as tans).

Here are some wardrobe staples:

A pencil skirt. A wide belt.
A tailored trouser pant.
A fitted jacket.
Wrap blouses and dresses or the other option, anything ruffled.
Metallic accents including grey metals and gold.
Denim items (coloured denim is in).
Anything turtleneck.
Anything leopard print: Belt, handbag or undies.
Wedge heels or any Lucite (plastic) heels.

VIDEO "Never find another"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2EqPG6cC7Y

You can contact Georgette at http://myspace.com/forevergeorgette or at 876-446-9834.

Dominate a Dominant Woman

2008-01-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

So I decided to bite the bullet & post this article at the risk of being ostracized by my 'strong' women. Ladies, don't kill me but y'all know you need to be calmed down sometimes so... brothas take a few hints...

Dominant women are often associated with whips, chains and a pitiful man groveling at their feet while licking a pair of vinyl boots. She may be strong-willed, feisty and independent, but this doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be ravished like any other female might. If you’re ready to take charge in the bedroom, the following tips will show you precisely how to sexually dominate a dominant woman.

Take the lead

Dominant women tend to be physically aggressive in the bedroom; these are the chicks who’ll throw you down on the bed and ride you like a champion. While this vision may appeal to most men, allowing this to happen on a regular basis puts you in a subservient role -- and that’ll carry over into other areas of your relationship. If you want to wear the pants, you’re going to have to show her you can. To dominate a dominant woman, the next time she pounces, turn the tables and flip her onto her back. Keep her firmly (but not painfully) pinned to the bed and let her writhe for a bit. As she struggles to regain the upper hand, calmly let her know you’re going to be in charge for the rest of the evening. Just be prepared to deliver the goods, as you’re bound to have one sexually attentive woman on your hands.

Maintain eye contact

Proper eye contact is extremely important when it comes to asserting dominance. A truly dominant man or woman can influence a less dominant person with the subtlest of glances. When two dominant people are vying for the role of leader, however, subtlety is no longer an option. Your vixen will try to dominate you by staring straight into your eyes and giving you a wicked grin that promises sexual submission on her terms. Most men, when faced with a woman like this, turn to jelly and happily let her do whatever she pleases. To dominate a dominant woman, however, it’s crucial you don’t fall for this move. Lower your eyelids slightly and stare back while returning that wicked little grin; this tells her she’s going to have to do much better than that if she wants to play Dom. It also tells her you’re capable of the same tricks, which will make her wonder what else you’ve got up your sleeve. She’s likely to break eye contact and look away -- this is a good indication she’s open to being dominated.

Tell her what you’re going to do

Telling a dominant woman precisely how you’re going to dominate her is a guaranteed challenge. And dominant women are all about a challenge; it’s an invitation for her to try her best moves on you, and an opportunity for you to show her who’s really in charge. She’ll be intrigued by your confidence and aroused by your promises. Tell her you’re going to dominate her and that she’s going to love every minute of it -- and then show her you’re a man of your word.

Guide her hands

Dominant women do what they want, when they want. She’s fully accustomed to grabbing a man and pulling him in for a long, deep kiss before she takes over completely. When dealing with women like this, it’s important you’re clear from the start regarding who is leading whom. This means even the kissing is done on your terms. If she slides her fingers through your hair and draws you near, take a hold of her hands and slide them around your neck instead. This move tells her you’re happy to have her hands on you, but that she will not be using them to assert dominance. If she’s pawing at your body like she owns it, intercept her hands and guide her palms across her own body. The thrill of having control taken away, combined with a sexy mutual exploration of her own curves, will have her purring in no time.

When this works for you, just send me a message to lemme know:)

LYING - IS IT JUSTIFIABLE?

2008-01-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

That's the beauty of an argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong. NICK NAYLOR "THANK YOU FOR SMOKING"

A very good movie with some very interesting principles but that isn't what this post is about. I used that quote to make mention of how people will justify their stance even when they know they're totally wrong. My next line of thought may throw you a bit but I just have to go there...

I'm not saying it's ever right to lie... truth is, it's actually wrong to lie; except when it's gonna spare someone or S-Y-A (Save Your Ass).

Most of us, if not all, lie about one thing or the other at some point or another, right? (Say it's true... don't lie to me:-) We lie about where we bought that chic black dress because we don't want her to get one like it. It wouldn't flatter her figure anyway so technically, you're saving her the embarrassment, correct? Besides, you know more about fashion than she does. With just that thought, you've made a good point that totally justifies you lying .

You lie & tell your buddies that you got some action from the chick you met at the bar last week. They'll never know the truth. After all, she went back to Kazakhstan the following day. That aside, they all would have done the same thing, you tell yourself.

Ha!

I use to lie to my Mom so often, all the time. (Thank God she isn't reading this). I know there were probably times she suspected I was fibbing, but most times I was on point with it. Sounds wrong to say that but that's the truth. It got a bit worse as the years went by - when I realized all she'd do was gimme a lecture or stay mad at me for a few days. The Silent Treatment was enough to make me scream but for a night out at the End of Year Party for School... I could deal with it:-) So I told her we had car problems on the way to the event & that when I was ready to leave, no one else was & since I obviously couldn't walk home, I waited. I was sure to tell her though that I was extremely mad at how selfish my friends were for not wanting to take me home. Yeah, right...

These days I don't even try that crap anymore, neither with her or with anyone else. You really have to have lots of time & a very good memory to lie & remember what lie you told to whom & when. My memory is so shot that I could easily claim Early Alzheimer's. I do however occassionally omit a few details here & there:-)

The person that is being lied to will probably claim disrespect if they find out you've lied. It may just be if you deliberately lie without reason. When is there ever a reason for lying you may ask...? When you really, really, really need to cover your ass.

Ok, so I may be talking outta my rear here...

Cheating is another way we all lie (for those of YOU who do.) We cheat on tests, when playing games... on our partners.

I was watching a movie recently called "Little Children". A scene I found funny...

Brad Adamson: You have a nice place here.

Sarah Pierce: You think? Yeah, Richard* does pretty well for himself.
Brad Adamson: Oh, yeah? What's he do?
Sarah Pierce: He lies.

(*her husband)

LOL!! He didn't actually speak the lie... Wanna know what he lied about...? Of course you do. His wife, Sarah, caught him trying to peak himself to pics of a porn star & and sniffing underwear sent to him by the same porn star. Not such a nice picture, is it?
Now he was just living the lie. Then the mo'fo had the nerve to tell her she could've knocked. LOL! He's hilarious.

His justification of that LIE was that he couldn't get that at home. That thrill. I guess he thought he would hurt her feelings. So was he justified in lying? Maybe he was.

Later on in the movie, Sarah gets in on a bit of the action too... She starts living a lie herself. Her justification...

"She's trapped! But she has a choice: she can either accept a life of misery or she can struggle against it. And she chooses to struggle. She fails in the end, but there's something beautiful and even heroic in her rebellion. No, it's not about the cheating. It's the hunger. The hunger for an alternative, and the refusal to accept a life of unhappiness."

SWEET!!

So in order to satisfy her hunger she cheats. She lies to her husband & will do so forever since in the end she decides to stay w/ him.

I'm not saying go out & lie but if the truth is gonna hurt someone or hurt you really badly, perhaps you should just omit it... at least for a while:)

Peace.

INFO YOUR MAN WILL NEVER VOLUNTEER...

2008-01-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

No matter how many conversations and Q&A sessions you've shared, every guy has certain details about his life that he considers off-limits — even to you. Learning about them may actually help you understand him better and keep you from freaking out if you accidentally trip on them one day.

He has a stash of porn.

I know what you're thinking: "Not my man." Yeah, right. Wake up & smell the coffee. It's a cold hard fact - Even the nicest guys like nasty entertainment. One guy says "porn lets me explore sexual avenues that are unavailable to me in real life."

Whether he has magazines stashed away under the mattress or in a box somewhere in the back of the cupboard or on his computer or even on his phone.... they're there somewhere.

The truth & the simplicity of it is that men are turned on by naked women. Most times the interest is heightened if the chick has bigger breasts, a flatter stomach & a size able behind. Unfortunately, some men go a step further than keeping it a fantasy to wanting to bring it into the bedroom... but that's a whole new ball game so I'll stop here for now.

He wants more oral sex.
Okay. You know he loves it, (maybe more than you do) but you might not have any idea just how much. Men are very simple creatures with three basic needs: food, shelter, and blow jobs. On speaking to a number of guys I've been told that they don't wanna ask for fear of seeming self-centered. One guy even says he's afraid that making that request would probably be the end not only of oral sex but of all sex. Hmm...

He hates it when you're more successful than he is.
Even if he said he was proud of you when you landed that paycheck-fattening raise or corner-office promotion, he's pissed that you're "moving on up" faster than the Jeffersons.

See, guys are supposed to be the breadwinners, but now women are often earning just as much money and respect as men are, if not more. And this growing gender equality isn't doing too well for his ego.

But he'll never confide this to you. Any guy who revealed his not-so-progressive feelings would risk coming off like a Neanderthal. Until we get over this sexist attitude, try not to flaunt the fact that you're in a higher tax bracket.

He's slept with *this much* women
*a two number figure that's higher than 10*

C'mon, did you really think he would? We women barely want to even. As proud as they are of the number, he'd never admit to you that he really did have bedroom wranglings with half the chicks whose numbers are in his phone... and you know it's not an attractive number (you just went through the phone last week) He doesn't want you to focus on his past and judge him based on that. If he really loves you, he won't want your relationship to change so this is definitely something he'll keep to himself. Furthermore, do you really want to know that he's slept w/ 30 chicks while in college & a few at his office?? Would you even be comfy w/ him going to work tomorrow? You don't & you wouldn't.

At the end of the day, some things are really better left unsaid. There are still things you haven't mentioned but you know he'll never find out so ignorance of the facts will never hurt him. So if your guy doesn't come clean on particular issues then don't be too hard on him. If he really is in love with you, for the most part he's just tryna protect your emotions.

10 REASONS WOMEN CHEAT

2008-01-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Julia Roberts did it in Closer. Annette Benning did it in American Beauty. Sarah Jessica Parker did it on Sex and the City. And they’re not the only ones. Although women haven’t surpassed men on the cheating scale, more women than ever before are jumping in the sack with someone other than their partners. There are so many listed reasons why women cheat. Here are a few. Do you agree?

10. Not enough sex

9. Being the bad girl

8. Self-esteem

7. Revenge/Payback for past wrongs

6. Lack of intimacy

5. Feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated

4. Emotional withdrawal from her partner

3. Bedroom boredom

2. Exit strategy

1. Revenge for her man's cheating

TO THE DUDES...

When you add up all the reasons women cheat, it’s usually her heart (or her ego) that needs healing more, not her libido. Keep the lines of communication open, be supportive and encouraging and work at keeping that spark ignited. In other words: Don’t give her a reason to stray.

New Years Resolutions

2008-01-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

So the holidays are officially over and it's back to business for most of us. Less partying, less spending, more work even.

The beginning of the year is usually a time to reflect on the year past and look towards the future. It's a time for completing last years task, setting new goals, making changes.

It's common offense to make resolutions and by February forget about them all. We all have done it at some point. What may help instead of simply saying you want to have something done is actually taking steps to ensure that you follow through on your plans. For example, instead of saying "I want to buy a car" and waiting for some miracle to happen, start checking into your finances and checking out different cars... Get the ball rolling.

(I may be telling you what you already know but it doesn't hurt to hear again:)

Most importantly, try to relax as much as is possible. Try to enjoy life. So many persons live their lives and are never able to enjoy it. Happiness is something I think we should all resolve to finding this year and in the years to come. And it happens to be one of the easier things in life to achieve. It can be found in the simplest, smallest things... A kind word, a nice gesture, a smile from a loved one...

STAY OPEN, LET GO & LET LIFE.

New Year - Endless possibilities!!!

What are your resolutions for 2008??

Does the Past Matter?

2007-12-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

They say Knowledge is Power but then Ignorance is Bliss. What you don't know won't necessarily hurt you but then it may...

How concerned are you about your partners past? Do you feel like less of a king because she's 'been around?' Does it bother you that every girl 'roun town has been with your guy?

Getting to know someone's past can be very good for a relationship as well as it can be pretty detrimental. The best time to go 'snooping around' is usually before all the fireworks start popping. You don't wanna fall in love and then find out that your boyfriends' obsession with bigger behinds (which you've grown to accept) is due to the fact that ALL his girlfriends before you had lots of junk in the trunk (especially if your tush is on the smaller side). That is enough to damage anyone's self-esteem.

You may find out that as flirtatious as your girlfriend is, she only had one boyfriend before you & she never even took him home to meet the parents because early on in the relationship, she realized it was doomed to fail. And boy, do we know how Mommy Dearest & Pops adore you! Talk about feeling like a King!!

Lots of couples tend to not discuss their past and then later on in the relationship all kinds of issues surface that threaten to potentially harm your bond.

How do you determine when opening up is too much? You want him to know but he may lose interest... but what if he finds out and then its worse?

Is omission really betrayal?

Do you tell or do you keep it a secret?

Who Should Pay on a Date?

2007-12-29T09:16:00.002-08:00

In the dating world, one all-important question is constantly wrestled with: Who should pay on a date?

Not so long ago, the answer to the “who should pay?” question was a fairly easy one, but that’s not the case anymore. Evolving beliefs and social norms have muddied the water on who’s responsible for 'picking up the tab'. Added to that, issues of equality and fairness have crept into the fabric of our lives, especially in the world of men and women. Today, every time the check arrives, guys must weigh their options carefully and proceed with caution; each decision not only influences the early stages of dating, but also affects the foundation of the entire relationship.

Is it as simple as 'whoever does the inviting should pay'?

Who should really? Is there a written rule somewhere that the guy should always pay? That 's the way it has always been? Is it just the way we've been socialized? As a chick, would you be turned off if a guy suggests that you split the bill?

Women constantly speak of wanting to be independent. We argue for equal rights & opportunities. We want it to seem that we're fine w/ paying our own rent, our bills, buying our own shit... we're in the club raising our drink glasses & our hands to Destiny's Child "Independent Woman" & to any other song that praises women for holding their own & 'handling their business'... so where's the problem in paying for the movies, for dinner... for you & your date?

I dunno... I'm just saying.

You tell me. What's your take?

How to Pass the Buck

2007-12-27T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hee, hee, hee... I know this one should crack y'all up. It may sound cruel, it may sound wrong but it's the reality. How many days have you been at work wishing you could simply delegate... blame someone else for all that's going wrong? I know I have been... too often.

Chances are you're probably already pretty slammed at work, so when more tasks are plopped on your desk you’ve got to get them off, ASAP. You could try to assimilate it into your routine, work longer hours or replace less important tasks with the new ones… or, you could partake in the oldest and most cherished act in all of office politics; the fine art of passing the buck.This isn’t just shamelessly dodging responsibilty or offering up thin excuses, to pass the buck is actually a well thought out practice in which you carefully shift the duties on to someone else without drawing too much attention to yourself. Of course, it’s not the kind of thing you’ll want to do too often, but when you are already drowning in work, what other option do you have but to pass the buck? See a few ideas right here.

Praise, then pawn

When you want to take a less-than-stellar task off your plate, pick a suitable person to replace you. Approach them and suggest that their skill set is much better suited for the task than yours. Of course, even with the most sincere praise he or she will most likely want to trade you one of their crappy jobs, so be ready to hand this one off on someone else if it is equally reprehensible. This could very well lead to a never-ending cycle of buck passing, which could become more of a job than your actual job. But, that’s just one of the pitfalls in the jungle that is the modern office environment.

Delegate

When you find yourself saddled with an unenviable job, pick any underling (read: intern or newbie) in the office. “Assign” the task to them and offer to be their "mentor." Talk about the perfect win/win scenario: You look like a hero without having to bother too much with the task, while the newbie gets a chance to prove him or herself. Of course, if they are too wildly successful, you might find yourself being passed over for that next promotion. This doesn’t mean you need to outright sabotage their work, just keep a close watch on the project and play the mentorship card to benefit from the positive reactions it garners.

Become a leader

If you can accumulate enough of these annoying little jobs you’d rather not have, you can put together a sound business case to create a position under you to handle them. This new direct report will help you in your day-to-day activities and set your career in overdrive, as the powers that be get to see your supervisory and management skills in action. There’s no reason why you can’t keep pressing the issue by inviting more and more work, so you can justify even more underlings. Before you know it, you'll have built an entire team from the ground up. If that doesn’t catch the eye of the head honchos, it certainly looks impressive on a resume.

Accept the job… sort of

When you're confronted with a new set of responsibilities, you don’t have to outwardly say no. Agree to take on the job, but add on some juicy conditions or set outlandish deadlines that will make the person trying to pass the buck onto you second-guess their decision. Ask for additional resources, propose a time line months longer than you know it should take -- heck, don’t even shy away from trying to negotiate a fat bonus for yourself. The idea here is to either make it so inconvenient for the person trying to saddle you with the job that they go looking elsewhere or to get some nice perks or extra time to complete the task if they agree. You can’t lose.

Eliminate the job at hand

Instead of putting all the effort into the useless, time-wasting job assigned to you, take the time to poke holes in the rationale behind the job and make it obvious to your upper-management that it makes more sense to do it differently, if at all. This proactive, pragmatic approach will display your keen business savvy, attention to detail and cost-cutting initiative that is so sought after in the modern business arena. Having the upper-echelon of your company attributing these skills to you is the quickest way to get those impressive initials after your name on your business cards. Isn’t that right, Mr. Senior VP?

Parcel out to different departments

Take the core job and break it down into smaller tasks that you can delegate to other departments. Send all the budgeting and spreadsheet stuff to finance, download the technical aspects to IT and then have your creative department give the whole package a professional sheen. You gain valuable project management experience while assuring that the job is done by the people most suited to do it. Buck-passing veterans might argue that this type of maneuvering actually creates a lot of work for you. But it is the kind of work that can accelerate a career, which is really the point, right?

Lend a (temporary) helping hand

There is an old adage, “You can give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or teach him to fish and feed him for life.” Those words definitely apply when trying to avoid someone else’s crappy jobs from being shifted onto your pile. Often, people pass off jobs because they don’t know, or don't care to know, just how much work is involved. All it takes is for you to break the effort down into manageable tasks and show the buck passer just how easy it really is to do on their own. Hopefully, you can explain it in terms that will make their efforts to pass the job off seem trite and lazy.

pass it on...

Just think: Almost any new task that ends up on your plate is one that was passed on by someone above you. The work eventually has to get done; it’s just a matter of how important it is, or how adept each member of the team is at avoiding responsibilities. Some of these jobs present great opportunities to get some positive attention from your superiors, while others just offer a chance to practice your buck-passing skills so someone else can deal with them. And now you’ve got a few new tricks up your sleeve. Be selective when using them; passing the buck too often turns you into “that” guy, and no one wants to be "that" guy. You want to be the guy who is talked about at board meetings and praised by his colleagues. And a good way to get there is to pass the buck carefully and skillfully.

Types of Dress Shoes

2007-12-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

I did a post some time ago about female shoes... now I'm giving the brothas some tips & flava...

Guys, have you ever bought a great pair of dress shoes only to find they didn’t go with half your wardrobe? Not all dress shoes styles are multipurpose, wear-with-everything types of footwear, and depending on the event you're attending, some dress shoes are more suitable than others. Since quality dress shoes are usually quite pricey, we’ve compiled this guide of dress shoe styles to take the mystery out of the often harrowing experience of buying stylish and appropriate footwear. Read on to learn about what to look for in dress shoes and how to select the right dress shoe style for your next upscale adventure.

1- OXFORDS

Originally known as Balmorals in England, oxfords are leather shoes with a relatively low instep, closed lacing and a non-rubber sole.

Modern oxfords, however, may be constructed from suede or synthetic materials, but no matter the material used to construct them, oxfords are usually quite plain with few -- if any -- embellishments.Like most dress shoes, oxfords traditionally come in black, cordovan, brown, burgundy, oxblood, chestnut, and occasionally, white. Oxfords are good all-around dress shoes that are appropriate for numerous occasions. For the office, basic, unadorned black oxfords will do the trick. Semiformal or contemporary chic events call for oxfords as well; though you can vary the color on these occasions, choose dress shoes in shades like cognac for a sophisticated but still down-to-earth feel. For formal affairs, revert to black oxfords made of highly polished, shiny leather, as well as heels and soles that are sleek and have as little bulk as possible. Handcrafted from fine Italian calfskin, these oxfords have been made in the old-style, but are still comfortable. They have been polished, but not overly so, meaning you can wear them to formal events and the office with a suit or a dress shirt and trousers.

2- LOAFERS

First making their appearance in the earlier part of the 20th century, loafers are either dressy or worn as a dressy sport shoe (think yatching and you’ll understand). The distinguishing feature of all loafers, however, is a lack of laces or buckles. Traditionally made from leather, loafers are slip-on shoes that resemble a moccasin on top, but have a wide and fairly flat heel. Many loafers have tassels, although these are often dispensed with nowadays. Penny loafers have a strap across the upper portion of the shoe, which was originally designed to hold change or an ornament.The tassel contributes to their dressy look, but the addition of bamboo to the tassel makes them modern and suitable for semiformal occasions.

3. CAP TOES

Cap toes are essentially decorated oxfords. Dress shoes can be embellished in a number of ways, but a cap toe on oxfords is by far the most common. Oxfords are usually quite spare with no superfluous features on the top portion of the shoe above the toe. In contrast, cap-toe shoes have an additional layer or band of leather over the toe. The extra portion might be a clean and simple line, in which case you will be able to wear them more frequently. However, a very stylish pair of cap toes, should be reserved for special occasions and be paired only with clothes of equal quality. Everything about them is like a traditional oxford, but a large leather band with contrast stitching over the toe gives them an extra edge.

4- DRESS BOOTS

Dress boots are slim, ankle-length boots with a slight heel that fit the foot and leg quite snugly. This style of boot is often highly polished and is frequently embellished with perforations (known as a wing-tip pattern). These boots will look fantastic with dressy and casula clothes, such as a great-fitting pair of dark-colored designer jeans, a pair of dress trousers or a casual suit.

5- MONK STRAP

This style of shoe refers to dress shoes that are similar to loafers in that they don’t have laces. While loafers are typically plain or tasseled, monk strap shoes have a metallic buckle and a leather strap on the upper portion of the shoe; a feature that also distinguishes them from cap toes, where the leather strap is located above the toe portion of the shoe.While very refined, the buckle and wider heel give them a slightly more casual look, so these would be a good choice for wearing with dressy jeans, casual dress pants or to the office.

The price of good-quality dress shoes may be a bit costly, so be prepared to shell out for your footwear. That said, due to their superior quality and the fact that you probably won’t be wearing them every day, these should last you for many years, so the investment is a reasonable one. When shopping for dress shoes, the most important thing to keep in mind is the quality of the leather. No matter which dressy occassion you intend to wear them at, a first-rate pair of dress shoes should be made from smooth, soft leather and be narrow and sleek in shape. Now go forth and dress for success.

Working the Crowd

2007-12-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

Everyone of us has, at one time or another, been warned not to talk to strangers. Although that’s wonderful advice when you’re 10 years old and only 85 lbs, it doesn’t serve you terribly well when you grow up and are expected to mingle at parties full of folks you’ve never met before. Lucky for you, making the transition from being distrustful of strangers to eagerly embracing them is easier than you might think.

Make eye contact

Good eye contact shows others that you’re interested in what they have to say and are fully engaged in the conversation. Just be careful to relax your gaze every few seconds, and remember to blink. No one wants to talk to someone who looks as though they’re trying to hypnotize them.

Have a good opener

Approaching someone out of the blue becomes far easier when you already know precisely what to say. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, it’s always appropriate to introduce yourself and offer your hand in greeting. If you’re feeling more daring you can also get the ball rolling by complimenting your fellow guest on an item of clothing or by commenting on your mutual surroundings. Just make sure that your comments are appropriate to the setting. A line like “I’m suffering from amnesia, do I come here often?” is great at a bar, but you might not want to try it at a stuffy networking event.

Avoid nervous habits

Everyone gets a little nervous in crowds, but some people are far better at concealing their nerves than others. Project an aura of confidence by avoiding nervous habits like shuffling your feet, playing with the change in your pocket or biting the nails of complete strangers. By appearing at ease, you’ll make those around you far more comfortable as well.

Prepare in advance

Prevent any awkward lulls in conversation by preparing three topics that are specific to the event you’re attending. If you’re at a convention, talk about the city and its trendiest nightspots. If you’re at a house party, talk about current events and your host’s new digs, and if you’re in prison, talk about how you once killed a man using only your pinkie -- your fellow inmates will be fascinated. The fact remains that everyone likes to spend time with people who have similar interests, so the more commonalities you reveal, the more likely you’ll be to forge a lasting connection. Learning how to work a crowd is important for networking (if networking is important to you.)

Keep your conversations short and sweet

The entire point of going to an event is to mingle, so don’t monopolize another guest’s time by trapping them in the corner while you regale them with stories about your pet. Good conversations should last between 5 to 10 minutes, so keep things moving and find a way to gracefully exit when things get stale. If, on the other hand, you can’t extricate yourself from a particularly chatty guest, you might want to try a stock line. Some acceptable lines include: "I’m off to the restroom" and "I’m going to the bar." Unacceptable lines include “Pardon me while I lick the cat” and “Excuse me while I pick up the hired help.” You should know from the horrified look on your fellow guest’s face just how inappropriate your comment was.

Be funny

Everyone enjoys being around someone who can make them laugh. Make milk fly from the noses of your fellow guests by peppering your conversation with the occasional joke or anecdote. The laughter and positive vibes you generate are certain to leave as lasting an impression as the dairy stains on their shirts. Just know where to draw the line. One-liners and stories are funny, but props, puns and anything involving a taser and 5,000 volts of electricity are not.

Listen more than you talk

One of the keys to endearing yourself to others is to make them feel good about themselves. You can start by asking open-ended questions, and by always listening keenly to the answers of your fellow guests. People seldom remember what they talk about at a party, but they do remember how their fellow guests made them feel.

Suggest a group activity

One way of standing out in the crowd is by becoming the ringleader. You can get the party started by suggesting an entertaining group activity that will get everyone involved and interacting with one another in a causal, fun-filled manner. Some suggestions include charades or a confessional, getting-to-know-you game like “Never Have I Ever.” Just be careful to assess your crowd before you make a suggestion. Although most people can appreciate an uproarious drinking game like Beer Hunter, it will probably go over like a lead balloon if you bring it up in the middle of your AA meeting.

Working a crowd isn’t an instinctual skill, but it is one that can easily be learned and mastered. Simply stay loose, remain positive and follow the preceding points and you’ll be guaranteed to leave a favorable, lasting impression. So what are you waiting for? Grab a drink, get out there and mingle.

Overcoming a Traumatic Experience

2007-12-24T07:36:00.000-08:00

It is an unfortunate fact that traumatic experiences are a part of life. What's even more difficult about these events is how tough they are to overcome -- physically, emotionally and, often times, practically -- so that life may continue with some semblance of normality. The good news is that once trauma is overcome, studies show that you can be left with a feeling of increased strength at having come through a tough spot.Whether the trauma you face is the death of a loved one, an unexpected and frightening experience or an unexpected and life-changing event it can be tough to get your affairs back in order. Read on for some ideas of how to begin your recovery.

Give yourself time

Take the issue head-on and deal with what’s really bothering you. Realize exactly what happened -- in detail -- and then cope with the event how you see fit.Although returning to a “normal” life and routine is important to the recovery process, this must happen in due time. Burying yourself in work or other responsibilities will only lead to pent up emotions and, in the end, more stress overall. This could very well lead to more downtime in the end, as you struggle to remember and deal with past causes of stress.Instead, take some time to rest and think. Write in a journal or visit some old friends -- keeping your mind alert and occupied is a good way to stop yourself from wallowing in bad feelings for too long. Be sure that you’ve fully recognized and understood your feelings and mental state before diving back into the full swing of things. That way, when you do return to work and your daily routine, you’re far more equipped to do so, and you’ll be better able to concentrate and thrive.

Rely on your support systems

Friends and family can be your most important resources in a time of trouble. Whether you talk to them about your feelings or just spend some time with them to know they’re there, loved ones can be an invaluable source of comfort. Although most of us have learned in time to regulate our own emotions, studies show that trauma confuses our ability to do this, so that relationships with others are integral to our recognition and control of fear and stress emotions.Don’t feel silly if you find you’re more in need of people than usual. Give yourself the pleasure of others' company and allow them to give you comfort and support. Although nobody doubts your abilities, you’d be surprised what your mom still has to offer you, emotionally and mentally.

Talk about it

Studies on post-traumatic stress disorder show that it’s integral for sufferers of trauma to talk about what they’ve endured, and how they feel about it. In fact, mental health professionals go to great lengths to establish trust and comfort so that stressed individuals can talk it out, because it’s so important to the healing process.While this may seem like a wonderful idea, it's not as easy as it sounds. For some, vocalizing the event solidifies it's truth and makes it that much harder to talk about. For this reason, it’s important that you find somebody that you trust enough to reveal things that are painful for you. Talk with people who’ve been through the same ordeal or just people you feel comfortable with, such as siblings or close family members. Get involved with a support group or friends. Just let your thoughts on the subject out -- speaking to others can help you realize fully what you’re dealing with, and allow you to get the appropriate help needed for your situation.

Be healthy

Although this may be the last thing on your mind during troubled times, try to give yourself the sustenance you'll need to feel better. The three big components of healthy living are sleep, diet and physical fitness. Unfortunately, depression or stress resulting from trauma can impede all three of these.Begin with exercise, as it will lead to an increased appetite and sleepiness. Even if you lack energy, start small and build up to more exercise gradually -- running is a great stress reliever and will keep you fantastically healthy. Similarly with diet and sleep, start small and try to build up toward healthy goals -- if you absolutely can't live without your cup of coffee in the morning, don't cut it out completely because you want to be healthy, just cut back on the quantity and maybe switch to decaf.Keep in mind that none of these three goals have to create added stress, and if cutting out coffee and maintaining a rigorous gym routine will do that, take it slower. Don’t try to cook gourmet meals, just try to keep it balanced. If you stress about time for the gym, take a quick walk or stretch at home. A healthy body means a healthy mind, and if you feel better physically, you’ll be more awake and in tune with your mind as well.

Get a hobby

After you’ve thoroughly explored your trauma, it’s time to get your mind on something else. Take up chess, take an art class or learn a new language. Find something that signifies a new chapter in your life and that will really grab your attention and concentration. Focus on the hobby so that you have a healthy escape from your thoughts when you need it. In addition to escaping the everyday and learning new things, you’ll also meet new people.Traumatic events often lead to unhealthy hobbies such as drinking, smoking or drugs. Recognize the signs that you're heading down the wrong hobby-trail and know that there are those around you who can help. By enrolling in healthy hobbies as soon as possible, and understanding that your mind needs to escape every once in awhile, you can save yourself some added trauma and agony further along down the road.

NEVER FORGET - YOU'RE NOT ALONE

Although it’s not easy to overcome a traumatic experience, if you utilize all the tools already available to you -- your friends, family and professionals -- you can get through it and get back to your life. The key is that you need to keep ahead of your thoughts. Deal with them before they wreak havoc on your mind and body. Get the tension out through healthy means and make sure you recognize what you’re dealing with. It’s a sensitive time, but you can come through it a stronger person. It's also important to realize that you're not alone. While you may feel as if you're the only person on the planet suffering -- you aren't, and you can make it through.

Boost Your Immune System

2007-12-24T07:21:00.000-08:00

The flu bugs have been training hard all summer, just waiting for this winter’s flu season to pounce. What have you been doing? Don’t worry, there’s still time to boost your immune system before the germs attack. Follow this simple immune system workout and you’ll be better equipped to face the flu when it strikes.

Relieve stress

Chronic stress can throw your immune system out of whack. Researchers now believe that a constant stream of stress hormones can desensitize the immune system. Basically, it gets used to high levels of stress and doesn’t respond to an infection (flu or otherwise) effectively. Chronic stressors include work pressures, relationship woes or anything else that has you feeling on edge during the day. Relieving this kind of stress can take some work.Essentially, you’ll need to adjust your response to perceived stressful situations. Relaxation techniques can help a great deal, and so can cognitive therapy. Hold on, we’re not talking about spilling the beans to a stranger with funny glasses. We’re talking about learning how to manage your own thoughts to reduce stress. Think of it as thought or brain mechanics.Author and therapist David M. Burns has refined “thought mechanics” for decades. His book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, is a quick and easy read, and it will help you deal with stress. Other authors, like Jon Kabat-Zinn, can teach you how to ride the ups and downs of a stressful life like a surfer on a big wave. Either way, stress relief is probably the single most effective action you can take to boost overall health and immune response.

Eat well

Hamburgers, donuts and French fries taste great, but they’re not exactly great for the immune system. To fight off the common cold or flu, your body needs a wide variety of nutritious foods, mainly lots of fresh fruits and veggies.The message is drilled into our heads on a daily basis, but we still don’t get it: Fruits and veggies are really good for us. Fruits like oranges and chilies (yes, they’re technically fruit) contain tons of vitamin C. Blueberries are packed with vitamin B. Both vitamins play a key role in the immune system. Spinach gave Popeye his powers, and it can also boost your defenses. The leafy green vegetable is packed with antioxidants and other nutrients that can give your immune system a helping hand. In general, look for foods that contain zinc, vitamins, A, C, E, and B-6, and folic acid. All have important influences on immune responses.A reduced-fat diet may also improve immune system response. Some scientists believe that high-fat diets depress the immune system, increasing infection rates. But it’s not that simple. Certain fats -- from fish or nuts, for example -- can boost immune response. So eat right. It might just keep the sniffles away this flu season.

Exercise

Studies have shown that moderate exercise can boost the immune system over time. But don’t overdo it. Intense exercise can actually harm the immune system. A daily walk or a gradual workout routine can increase overall health and immune response. When you punish your body -- in a 10 km race, for example -- it might shut down immune systems to repair damage or simply recover. Take a walk every day or spend some time on an exercise bike. A few days a week at the gym wouldn’t hurt, either.

Drink water

It’s all too easy to chug soda pop all day. Try to resist and replace that sweet treat with a cool glass of water. Water is the key to the body’s ability to transport nutrients throughout the body. It also plays a huge role in respiration, the main way you generate energy to live. Eight glasses a day is a good general guideline, but you’d do better to pay attention to your own thirst. If you get really thirsty, chances are you’re getting dehydrated. If you’re only a little thirsty, drink a little water. Remember, overdoing it can have consequences. Too much water can flush those nutrients out of your body.

Drink tea

Your doctor might do well by prescribing daily teatime. A new study has found that tea contains certain nutrients that boost the immune system and even help with skin cell regeneration. In short, tea acts like a sort of vaccine against infection. So the next time someone offers you tea, take it. It might just help you fend off the next infection.

Vitamin C

Vitamin C is the old staple for immune health, but most of us only take it when we’re feeling sick. In fact, the vitamin is most effective when taken as a preventive measure. A recent study by University of Texas Health Sciences Center graduate students found that people who took a gram of vitamin C every day for two weeks showed improved immune response when compared to those who didn’t. Specifically, the subjects had increased numbers of virus-fighting compounds called cytokines in their blood. When they stopped taking the vitamin, those levels dropped. The lesson? Taking vitamin C during the flu season could prevent a nasty cold.

Rest

We’re all short on sleep, which is probably the best immune system booster around. A good night’s sleep gives your body a chance to repair. Scientists are not exactly sure how this repair process works, but they are sure that well-rested people get sick less often than the sleep deprived. So get plenty of rest this flu season. A little extra time in the sack could keep you away from the sick bed.

Holiday Gifts That He'll Really Like

2007-12-19T10:48:00.000-08:00

Skip the pricey gadgets and the silly shot-glass chess set. Here is a handful of guy-friendly presents that are guaranteed to win him over.

Comfy Boxers
Get into his pants (literally) with a frisky gift like a fun pair of boxers!

DVD Box Sets
Go ahead and glue him to his flat-screen with his favorite TV show! The Office: Season 3 is available and some other hot picks include 30 Rock, House, and Entourage.

Supersexy Cologne
Here's a win-win gift: He gets a great scent and you get to enjoy it when you move in close. A favorite: Lacoste Essential

Little-Kid Toys
We all know that every dude is a little boy who just wants to play with toys. Indulge his inner 10-year-old with an energetic idea like a remote-control truck or that thing they will tell you is for men, not boys, a X-Box 360.

Shaving Goodies
If your guy dreads shaving, here's your chance to help him turn the chore into something he enjoys! Pick him up the best razors you can find. A Starter Kit includes preshave oil, shaving cream, aftershave balm, and a cool genuine badger shaving brush.

Too-Cool Ties
Every guy needs a tie or two, so why not make sure his preppy side is rocking a clever look? You can pick up great neckties at almost any Male Clothing Store.

Fan-tastic Sports Items
How do you spell Cool Girlfriend? Try S-p-o-r-t-s S-t-u-f-f. Support your guy's love for his team by picking him up some fan gear. You’ll be sure to be given the “Best Girlfriend” Award.

Top 10 Picks for Christmas Gifts

2007-12-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

So boys, it's that time of the year when you start thinking about what gifts to get for the lady in your life. This can be a not-so-easy task but here are a few top picks to help you in making your decision. Ladies, if you think he has no clue what to get you, send him this link... http://pshfashblock.blogspot.com/...I guarantee he'll find something here.

Number 10

Gift Certificate

A Gift Certificate to a spa is most times a cost effective but really nice gift. It speaks to you wanting her to relax & feel glamorous. Pay keen attention to the things she always does or always says she wants to do. e.g Getting a massage, Manicure, Pedicure etc. You can consult the Spa Director to find out what packages they offer that may suit her & your pocket.

Number 9

A cashmere sweater
This isn’t just any sweater, it’s a cashmere sweater: A luxuriously soft piece of clothing that’s a true classic. Yes, it’s functional, but since it can be worn for life, it’s also a keepsake. Not all women love all sweater styles, so avoid trendy cuts in loud colors, and stick to classic cardigans or V-necks in black, brown, cream or navy.

Number 8

Lingerie

Not all lingerie is romantic; something like, say, crotchless panties, garter belts or anything that could be seen as more of a gift for you sucks the romance right out of it. When it comes to this gift, think sensuous, not slutty.Stick with silk, satin and lace robes, camis, baby dolls, slip dresses, bras, and panties. And remember that part of feeling sexy is feeling comfortable -- if something is too snug or falling off, it defeats the purpose. So if you don’t know her size, include the gift receipt so that she can exchange it.

Number 7

Something inscribed
Books can be thoughtful and personal, but inscriptions take them to a whole new level of romance. Buy her a new novel that she’s been dying to read, a first addition of her all-time favorite classic or even a journal, the subject matter doesn’t have to be romantic, but your inscription does. This is the time to tap into your sentimental side. Of course, if all else fails, you could always quote a love sonnet.

Number 6

Something engraved
Although an iPod on its own isn't romantic, there is an easy way to elevate even the simplest gift into the ultimate romantic token: engrave it! By forever branding a bracelet, cell phone or even a key chain with your love seal, with your initials, anniversary date or a sappy sentiment, you’re sending her the message that you’re in it for the long haul -- and nothing is more romantic than commitment.

Number 5

Show tickets
This gift is not about tickets for you (that means no Car Shows), it’s about tickets for her. Yes, that means sitting through three hours of men in tights if she loves the ballet. Often better than a wrapped present, a shared experience like a concert, play or holiday show brings you closer together. And don’t forget to save the ticket stub for No. 3.

Number 4

Something vintage
Antique stores are full of romantic artifacts, from decorative mirrors to classic vases. Most women love old-fashioned finds, but to personalize it, give her a photo of the two of you in an old-fashioned frame. The fact that it’s antique automatically imbues it with amore.

Number 3

A scrapbook
Don’t worry, we’re not suggesting that you cut and paste pictures into a scrapbook a la Martha Stewart but there are, ahem, less feminine ways of preserving memories thanks to technology. Internet sites like Scrapo.com, Picaboo.com and Shutterfly.com let you create scrapbooks with the click of a mouse; just drag and drop photos, then add your own poetic sentiments and you’re done.Granted, it’s a tad cheesy, but it’s about as close to a homemade gift as you can get -- and what’s more romantic than telling the story of your romance? For bonus points, throw in a ticket stub from your first movie or concert.

Number 2

A weekend getaway
Women love surprises and women love weekend getaways. This year, pair ’em up and you have a recipe for romance. Once you reach your lover’s locale -- whether it’s Napa Valley wine country, the Big Apple or even a nearby bed and breakfast -- keep the romantic theme going by taking her on a carriage ride, ordering room service for two and watching the sunset together.

Number 1

Jewelry
All women love jewelry, but not all women love all jewelry. If she doesn’t have her ears pierced, steer clear of earrings. If her style is simple and understated, bling isn’t your best bet. If she doesn’t wear a watch, don’t waste your money on one. The best thing you can do is look and listen to what she likes.That said, buying jewelry doesn’t have to be intimidating.

What Women want from Men

2007-12-18T08:51:00.000-08:00

Today’s women have achieved more than their great grandmothers could have ever imagined. Women are in politics, women are in space; women are excelling in every career imaginable. Women today are strong, independent and sexually liberated; Gloria Steinem would be proud. Despite the females social evolution, however, you may be surprised to learn that women actually still enjoy being treated like women, and they still appreciate a little chivalry now and then. Cliche as some of these tips sound, they will score you big points with any lady who enjoys being treated well.The following is a list of what women want from men.

Return her messages

Many women gauge a man’s interest level by how long it takes him to respond when she contacts him. If his response time is poor, she might assume he’s just not that into her. Now, it’s no secret that women and men have differing opinions on what constitutes good communication, and we’re not saying you need to drop everything the minute she calls. She knows you’re a busy man; she’s busy too. What women want from men is a call back as soon as they’re able, as opposed to sometime the following day. This doesn’t mean you have to send an e-mail or a text of epic proportions if you don’t have time; a sentence or two will suffice to make her feel like you care -- which is all she really wants to know.

Kiss her for no reason

As much as they love sex, women also enjoy a nice, deep kiss that doesn’t have any strings attached. This serves two purposes: It lets her indulge in kissing for the sheer pleasure of it, and it also tells her you want her, and not just sex. Yes, you’re charming and sexy and she loves being naughty for you, but sometimes she needs a different type of connection. To really do what women want from men, try a surprise kiss for no reason at all; she’ll love you for it. Combine this with a little hand-holding and she’ll be smiling for days.

Dance with her

Simply put, dancing with a woman makes her feel special. Unfortunately, most men are reluctant to put their dancing shoes on, especially in a public setting. Guess what? While she’d probably welcome the idea, you don’t need to visit a nightclub to dance with your woman. She’ll be just as thrilled if you slipped a little Marvin Gaye on and danced with her in the living room. This would actually be to your advantage, as you have total control over the music. You’re also conveniently located if the dancing starts to get dirty…

Dress up for her

Dressing up to take your woman out is an excellent way to impress her. It’s not about the clothes; it’s about the fact that you find her worth dressing up for. It lets her know that you think she’s worth that kind of effort. Besides, a nice shirt and dress pants can increase your sex appeal by leaps and bounds; you may feel overdressed, but your hotness factor will have magnified exponentially. It’s true what they say: Women really do love a sharp-dressed man.

Remember random milestones

As a rule, birthdays and anniversaroie should always be remembered; forgetting something of this magnitude will send the message that you don’t find her terribly important. After all, she probably memorized yours early on in the relationship, so if hers goes unnoticed, she’ll be utterly heartbroken. Here's how to do what women want from men: To truly impress her, aim to remember the insignificant dates, as well as the big ones. The first time you told her you loved her, the first time you kissed, the first place you vacationed together, what she was wearing the first time you met -- any one of these will turn her to jelly and score you more bonus points than you can shake a stick at.

Take on an activity with her

What women want from men is to spend time with their man outside of the bedroom. They want to experience life with their man, and this is one of the best ways to develop a three-dimensional relationship. Don’t worry; we’re not recommending you join her yoga class; rock-climbing, hiking, tennis or cycling are activities both of you can enjoy. If neither of you are the sporty type, try something else that you already excel at. Teach her how to swing a 9-iron or to shoot pool -- she’ll love the personalized attention.

Propose a visit to her family

Women love it when a man gets along with her friends, but she simply adores it when he gets along with her family. Even if you’re not particularly fond of her busybody mother and father, suggesting a visit (even just a yearly one) can really make your woman’s day. It lets her know you recognize the importance of family. This is truly the kind of suggestion that leads to a warm and fuzzy feeling, so don’t be afraid to suggest it.

It's the little things…

When it comes to what women want from men, the little things really do matter. The items on this list aren’t particularly difficult or time-consuming, but they are, unfortunately, very often overlooked by men. This often leads a woman to feel neglected, which in turn leads to nagging and other problems. Make her feel special, and she’ll go to the ends of the earth for you; try one of these suggestions, and she’ll feel like you've already gone there and back for her.

4 Steps to Overcoming Jealousy

2007-12-18T07:04:00.000-08:00

This one is for the guys...

Jealousy is a bad thing: It makes you break into a sweat every time she wants to go out with the girls. It causes your stomach to sink at every mention of male friends, colleagues and ex-boyfriends. It leaves you unable to sleep, obsessing over what she's doing with whom. Jealousy, in short, will turn your happy little relationship into a seething viper's nest of paranoia, nagging questions and suspicion. And unfortunately, it's one of the most natural emotions there is. Think about it: You adore her and want to be with her, so why wouldn't every other man?Jealousy, however, must be kept in check. Uncontrolled jealousy will destroy a relationship just as quickly as cheating. For the sake of your love life, here are four painless steps to overcoming jealousy in your relationship.

STEP 1

Ask a third party
Being an internal emotion, jealousy can easily lead into a downward spiral. Suspicious thoughts can be amplified as you turn them over and over in your head. Like a conspiracy theorist overanalyzing facts and placing great significance on tiny events, you can convince yourself of something that just isn't there.To succeed in overcoming jealousy, seek an outside opinion. Without any sense of perspective or rationality, you won't see the real picture. Approach a close friend and ask for his advice. Preferably, this should be someone who considers himself your friend, rather than a friend of both of you.Stress the need for total honesty and outline your reasons for being jealous. Reveal as much as you can, and if he asks questions, answer them with details, as they may help him shed some light on why you're feeling this way. For example, have you ever cheated? If you have, this could be why you're feeling jealous (as you're expecting her to betray you), so don't cover it up. Often you'll find just talking about things makes you realize how irrational you're being.

STEP 2

Perform a detached self-evaluation
Armed with your buddy's insight, overcoming jealousy requires you to take a long look at yourself in the mirror. The reasons for your jealousy could have more to do with your attitude and behavior than hers. Examine what issues could spark jealousy in you. If you've cheated or if any of your past relationships involved infidelity you could be more prone to jealousy than others. If you're under stress (even for reasons unrelated to her, like work, for example), you could find your libido lowered, and feel that other men are more attractive to her.You’re two steps away from overcoming jealousy..

Next in overcoming jealousy, comes your evaluation of the relationship. If you've made it this far, there has to be a reason for it. Focus on these positive points before moving on to any negative ones. Chances are that the good points outweigh the bad ones, otherwise one of you would have thrown in the towel by now. By comparing the real relationship to your internal feelings of jealousy, you should gain balance and realize competitors will have a hard time taking her away from you.Build on this evaluation to improve the relationship, and -- on a personal level -- to make progress in overcoming jealousy. If you have identified problems with your attitude, behavior or relationship, work to resolve them. Remember: Jealousy is an internal process, but will be reduced by favorable external circumstances.

STEP 3

Inflate your ego
Because this feeling is internal, the biggest step in overcoming jealousy is to work on yourself. Feeling jealousy over her relationship with another guy has much more to do with you than him. To overcome this, you have to boost your self esteem.Take time to remind yourself how great you are. The very fact that she's with you means you have beaten all the other men in the world. Any rivals can't just waltz in and take her away because you're already miles ahead of the game. Channel time and effort into the relationship to make her happy, and when she tells you “You're the best,” it'll do wonders for your ego.Overcoming jealousy involves not just concentrating on the relationship, but increasing your self-opinion in all other areas. Take pride in the things you're good at, take more time with the hobbies and interests you enjoy and excel at, and surround yourself with people who think you're just swell. Get a haircut, buy a sharp new suit... do whatever you can to remind yourself that you're the bomb, and you won't worry about all the other guys in the world.

STEP 4

Trace all future episodes of jealousy
Keep track of all your future feelings of jealousy. If you find yourself suspicious or angry about another guy, sit down and analyze it. Get a clear idea as to why you feel threatened, listing all the reasons on your side and his. Then try to rationalize why these feelings are justified. Attempt to imagine the world in which all the crazy thoughts are true, and you'll find that all the pieces just won't add up. Eventually, jealous thoughts will be dismissed as quickly as they crop up.

Creating the Perfect Brow

2007-12-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

Getting and Maintaining Great Eye Brows

• Maintenance is necessary on a weekly or bi-weekly basis to keep them looking their best.
• If the hairs are excessively long, it is perfectly okay to trim them with manicure scissors. Trimming them can make a big difference. Actually it is a good idea to trim before you pluck.
• The best time to pluck your eyebrows are after you get out of the shower. The pores are still open and it doesn't sting quite as much.
• Be careful not to pluck so that holes appear in your brows. Take a good look at the root area of the hair before you yank.

Eyebrow Rule of Thumb

If you have small delicate features, your brow should be delicate as well but if you have an athletic build, delicate brows will look silly. They will look more natural if they are a little thicker and less manicured.

Small Eyes

If you have small eyes, a well shaped brow is something that you should strive for. It will help to make a statement without a lot of extra color around the eyes that can make them look even smaller.

Waxing Brows

Lots of ladies have their brows waxed. In one respect, this is a good idea. If you shop around and find an expert, you will have nicely shaped brows when you leave the salon. However, there are drawbacks. Waxing can lead to in-grown hairs. One way to avoid this is to cleanse the brow area with a toner immediately after waxing. At home, you can use cleansing grains to exfoliate the area so that hairs aren't trapped beneath the surface of the skin.

Tinting and Tattooing

Tinting of brows might be something of interest to you especially if you are a blonde. The color that you should be looking for here is one or two shades darker than your hair color. And for all of you brunettes, never tint your brows black. It looks to severe. Choose a color in the brown tones.
Tattooing the brows is a possibility but check for credentials. Unfortunatley, tattooing can turn out looking worse than when you started.

Many women ignore their brows because they don't know how to care for them and this is a mistake. Get in the habit of tinkering with your brows in the same manner as you grab your eyeliner.

Do Bad Guys Always get the Girl?

2007-12-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy, Mr. Bad Boy, always gets the girl !! If we remember the bad guys at school and college with the best looking babes it appears that the movies could be right. The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys ? You see men are confused. Men like to refer to stereo types and work from them. They are told that they need to be a hero and a tough guy, but then are told they need to be in touch with their sensitive sides and be a modern man holding the baby.

Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect often appears to have a fan club developing. Life my friends is often unfair. Okay let us look at what is going on with this scenario.

Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and are a law unto themselves. They do what they want. They go where they will and they answer to no one. They are interesting. Tow the line, do as you are told and you are dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not, generally.

Bad Guys are a challenge. Women love a challenge just like guys. If something involves a challenge the end results must surely be worthwhile, right? Of course... & bad guys are a challenge. The girls who go after a bad guy want to keep them to themselves and will do a great deal to keep hold. The more you want them, the greater there is a chance they may walk away. Women love to feel good about themselves and getting their bad guy, at least for a while, satisfies that urge. This appeals to some people and the greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort to keep them. There may be a lesson there.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they are about and don't really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos. Somewhat out of shape, if Mr. Soprano doesn't mind me saying, but immensely attractive all the same.

What have we got if we combine these facts? Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality. That equals sexy. Is it any wonder therefore that such types of guys often get the gals. It doesn't mean to say that we like them and it doesn't mean to say that this is fair or a good thing. But it can be natures way.

I am not in any way suggesting that all men should be Mr. Bad Guy. No not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our social arsenal of dating weaponry. It is first the way you perceive yourself that matters. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life then this will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go round being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics and analyze within yourself what is it that you think partners like and how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

Sex & Relationships

2007-12-12T07:09:00.000-08:00

SCENE 1

"mmm, right there.."
"u like that?"
"oooh, yes baby, I do...yes, yes, yes!"

SCENE 2

... no sounds except the creaking of the bed & an occasional "mmmm"
"are u ok baby?"
"mm hmm"
"ok"

Two different scenes. Scene 1 is casual sex w/ two individauls that have just met. Scene 2 is w/ lovers.

How much value do you place on sex in your relationship? Would you stay in a relationship where the sex was just plain... blah? What if you weren't getting exactly what you want from your partner? Are you willing to do whatever it takes ensure that your partner is satisfied without compromising yourself too much?

I've known couples who've had the best relationship, model couples. On the outside, they seem to have it all together. But at home, in bed... they're not sexually compatible. How is this you may ask?

It's quite simple. Not all couples are sexually compatible. Loving someone endlessly does not translate good sex. You can have the most casual sex w/ someone you have no emotional attachment to and it's mind blowing then it's the reverse w/ your partner.

What if he only rolls on & rolls off? What if she only lays there like a log? What if he's too rough? What if she too 'catholic'? All these questions. Talking about these issues usually help & it really should be the first approach you take if you end up in a situation like this. But what about when talking fails...?

Another aspect... Oral Sex. Often a very taboo subject in relationships. Some see it as being just another aspect of sex, others think it should be condemned. But what if you want oral sex from your partner & they're not willing to offer that? Do you remain selfish & stick out that it has to happen or do you condition your mind to the penetration & try to have that work for you?

I don't think you should stress about it past the point that you can't handle it. You simply have to make a decision as to whether or not you can stay in that relationship. It may be hard because letting go of someone you love & probably have been with for a while is never going to be easy.

The way I see it, you have to be real about things important to you. There are folks that think that taking that stance means you're being selfish. Being selfish would be not communicating to your partner what you want or don't want. The result of that lack of communication too often ends in cheating. And that's a whole new ball game right there. That's one of the foremost reasons I think people cheat. Not being real to themselves & to their partner.

When you think about it, there really are more important things to a relationship than just the sex. That's a pretty cliche statement but it is very true. Your man could be abusing the living daylights out of you... your girl could be creeping around w/ your homeboy. That's DISRESPECT & you that is waaaay bigger than average sex.

You have to make a decision at some point as to what works for you & what doesn't. Until then, you're going to be one miserable person. DON'T CRY ABOUT SOMETHING YOU ACCEPT. If the sex nuh good & it's bugging you, take a hint. Leave or start talking about it.

TRENDS

2007-12-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

1. High Waist Pants

Properly worn

Can be worn as shown in photo w/ tank top or w/ a ruffle shirt & heels. Always worn best w/ slimmer tops.

Not worn so well

If you have even an ounce of belly pooch, a high waist can accentuate
it in an unflattering way, so watch that tummy or
'tuck it in' all night (may not be a good idea)

2. High Waist Shorts

Now this is just too cute!!

Slip on a pair of flats &

go strolling on the

mall then into heels for a night

out to the club w/ the girls.

3. Ankle Boots

Not my fave get-up right there but Ri-Ri is rocking the hell out of it!

A much safer look you can try is wearing them w/ leggings or an A-Line skirt.

They can be worn w/ mini skirts also but that' s not always safe.

Skinny Jeans are good too but make sure the jeans really are

skin tight w/ plenty of gather at the bottom.

You need to roughen the jeans up before they reach the shoe,

so straight leg skinnies won't do.

4. Suspenders

A very easy of jazzing up an

outfit is to add some suspenders.

Fashion nowadays is quite liberal

so you will probably be able to get away w/

almost any colour that suits your outfit or your mood.

Is courtship still alive and well?

2007-12-11T05:47:00.000-08:00

Gone are the days when young men would come over a girl's house, sweating and nervous, desperately hoping to impress her parents. Today, courtship has been warped and speeded up to fit into the instant- gratification-fast-paced needs of the modern-dayworld.

Boy meets girl.
Overcome shyness.
Boy meetsparents.
They go out on chaperoned first date.
They kiss on third date.

That scenario was last popular 20 years ago. There seems to be no room anymore for the interesting awkwardness that comes from attraction; the flushed cheek; the overt look from lowered eyebrows; the subtle yet daring wink, the innocuous yet potent remark dripping with sexual overtones. Everything seems to be manufactured and tailor made to fit our individual needs. And that is hardly calculated to make us happier or more satisfied. It makes us mindless dependent zombies. With the advances of the 80's, and the onset of a highly-technological age, chance meetings have been replaced by videodating, opening lines made obsolete by newspaper ads and singles' bars substituted for the `thrill` of on line chat on the Internet.

I can't speak for anyone else but I know that nothing impresses me more than a man who wants to court me. I'm not saying I haven't ended up in relationships where chivalry was as dead as a doorknob... I sure have but it doesn't change the fact that I like things the 'old school way'.

What's nicer & more polite than having a guy open your doors for you? When a young man opens your car door for you, despite the fact that his car is equipped w/ a Central Locking System, consider yourself darn lucky! He may just be one to keep.

What ever happened to getting your chair pulled out & adjusted for you when at a restaurant? Him giving you his sweater when it's too cold out? Him lifting you over that muddy puddle of water? Ok, so maybe that's pushing it just a bit.... but I'm sure you see what I'm getting at. Is it that these 'modern' men don't know about courting?

Maybe we women are to blame. Maybe we've caused that to change by doing too much or too little. We are no longer willing to comply with the 'female role' of being the woman of the house. The cooking, the cleaning, the washing. Perhaps the gentlemen have seen this & have taken a step back...? You tell me?

Perhaps, I've been watching too much TV but truth is, I know it's still very much alive & out there.

BEING THE OTHER WOMAN

2007-12-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

‘HYPOCRITICAL ME’

Am I the same soul who condemned my ‘sista’
for dating the fellow
whose heart belonged to another?

Who put a ring on the finger of another?

Am I the same soul who vowed never to be entangled?

Hypocritical Me

It’s amusing now that I’m the same soul
who will pay for crying for him when he ‘had to leave’,
when he was ‘unavailable’.

It’s always easier to judge when the shoe isn’t on your foot
But the minute it fits, you forget.

Hypocritical Me

Not spending a minute to try to understand what she was saying
Not believing that the temptation was more than she could bear….

Maybe if I had spent a minute to listen,
I could have avoided being a prey to the trap
But I didn’t,
Because I was being…

Hypocritical Me

Now I’m the one being condemned
Being judged…

It’s a new day and he no longer resides, so
I’m ready to accept my dosage of life that I know is coming to me.

No longer a victim to my own
Hypocrisy---

The poem above speaks of a young woman who was "the other woman" in a relationship.

Have you ever been tangled in the web? Ever had to play the role of "The Other Woman"? Was/Is it beneficial? Did it end up in heartbreak? If you've never been there, would you?

EX-es

2007-12-10T10:17:00.001-08:00

I came across this article recently & thought it would make for a good conversation piece. I'm sure most of us have had some run-in w/ an ex at some point or another. Perhaps some of you are still dealing w/ the hurt from the breakup...? Or maybe you're one of the fortunate few who have been able to maintain a good relationhip w/ your EX. This is a lengthy piece but it really hits the nail on the head so read on...

"Let me tell you a little thing about exes. They're dangerous. They're the X factor in your day. They exasperate, extort, excruciate, and have been known to use expletives at times when you try to excommunicate them. And of course, exes only see things from an ex parte perspective. And the outlandish way they behave, you might feel that some of them are extra-terrestrials.
Some of you might even agree that they should be `xed` out because as far as relationships go, there is hardly ever any such thing as a mutual break up. Even if your relationship was toxic, chances are that the passion and sexual chemistry between the two of you still exists (unless lack of attraction was the reason for your break up), and there are always unresolved feelings floating around with any girl with whom there is knowledge of where her tan lines stop. And that's when things get antsy.

I remember having a particularly acrimonious break up with an ex. Our relationship had been labouring along like a car with sand thrown into the transmission. She had the ego of a man, the body of a woman, and she drove me crazy like some poor sucker in some witless teenage song. We argued a lot.

Then one day, after a sweaty romp at her place, she told me...

"It`s over, I don't even want to hear rumours about you anymore. "
But, I protested weakly... we made love.
"Yeah, by the way, that was severance sex. Remember to close the door on your way out."
"Goodbye sex? Severance sex?" I asked.
"Yeah, but without the two weeks notice."

Well, at least she was original.

It is hard for you to forget what you once shared with an ex. Memories will be triggered by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to, or the smell of her skin or perfume. The smell of things they say, bring you back the hardest.
And if you`re not careful, you might find yourself back in her bed before you can say what-the-hell-just-happened. I`ve been forced to watch enough Lifetime movies, and to sit through daytime soaps like Passions to know that sex just happens.

Years ago, I remember one of my exes called me out of the blue, saying she wanted to see me. I told her O.K., and agreed to meet her in "a public place preferably a park with lots of witnesses and no sharp objects around." She laughed and we met a few hours later. I complimented her on the new and exciting things happening with her hair, and made her laugh with my silly conversational gambits. Midway into the get-together, I interjected

"What`s this about? I thought you weren`t talking to me."
"Who said anything about talking?" she quipped, and her eyes sparkled impishly.

We ended up at her apartment hours later... you know the rest.

But the world of exhood is really quite problematic. The ghosts of relationships past will haunt you, especially with the recently exed who are just devious creatures. The old time exes are a little easier to deal with, and if there are any cases of a one-for-the-road-romp, or an old-time-sake-sexfest, there are no strings attached. In the cases of current exes (three months or less), there are always strings attached, most likely around your neck, or your gonads.

Take a case of one of my close friends. He hooked up with a hottie from his sordid past one evening after work. However, by the time he got home, his present girlfriend was waiting to greet him on the verandah. She was dressed in black, and she had a meat cleaver in her hand. Apparently, the ex had already called and shared with her `matey` key details about the precise length, location and pleasure derived from that evening`s sexual adventures.
He didn`t even bother to get out of the car.

See, that`s what I`m talking about! Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a former ex, it is never a good idea, and will eventually destroy whatever hopes of a budding friendship you may have cherished in the beginning.
I don`t see how one can even be friends with an ex. For one, you can never truly confide in her. How can you tell her about the North Coast getaway you have planned with some new hot chick, or the mind-blowing orgasms your new girlfriend`s skills afford you?

But men who are the impresarios of insecurity often feel a need to string their exes along. Why?
Maybe it`s the belief that remaining friends seems to provide us with the security blanket that the person who has been in our life will still be there, and we can call on them every once in a while to find out how they are, but it never works. Why fool yourself?

Having an ex in your life, friend or not, is a constant reminder of `The Way Things Used to Be`, and makes it harder to move on to a healthier, happier relationship. Think happy thoughts. Remember the good times. Don`t drag a doomed relationship through the mud just for some sweaty interlude."

What do you think? Are you friends or enemies with your exes?

WHY MEN GO TO STRIP CLUBS

2007-12-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

Men, why do you? Women, do you entertain the idea of your guy visiting Go-Go clubs? I was having a convo w/ a male friend of mine recently on the topic & he had a mouth full to say. VERY, VERY interesting. Read on...

She dances seductively to the song, 'I Had The Time of My Life', swivelling her hips in delicious slow motion, as she hangs onto a pole. Her breasts are twin hard nubs in her bikini top, and when she removes her top to deposit in the lap of a nearby male, there is an audible gasp from the crowd. The young man, the scars of adolescence still fading from his face, is grinning like a teenager who just got his first Playstation II, and he folds a $100 bill neatly into the waist of her panties.

You might think that go-go clubs are grungy little buckets of blood where disease waits in ambush for the unsuspecting male, but for many men, a night spent at a strip club is harmless fun. We get to see naked, available women -- live and in living colour.
My first experience with a go-go club was at the Palais Royale in New Kingston. I fell asleep, and awoke to a man having oral sex with a woman in front of me. It was a rude introduction to this unique subculture of Jamaican nightlife, and I have been hooked ever since.
Contrary to popular opinion, attending a strip club is not a "gateway drug" that leads to full-blown kinkiness such as snuff films.

Men love to see women's bodies. The more they see, the better. They love to discuss whom they saw, what they saw, and what they did. It's a private world that men relish and women fear. Women fear that their men will find cuter girls, but in Jamaica, that is not a genuine fear as some of the least desireable women imaginable mixed with a few standouts work in our clubs.
Still, that doesn't prevent men from attending.

Every man has his own private fantasies. By seeing completely nude and seemingly vulnerable (even though most strippers are in complete control of what they do), it touches on one of the most popular male fantasies - to have a woman at his beck and call, and who is receptive to his advances even though he is paying her. Going to a strip joint allows men to get closer to that 'harem fantasy', and affords them the chance to feel irresistible to the opposite sex.
A strip club is like a live version of the sexual escapades men dream about at night. It isn't cheating, but the thought of engaging one of the women does cross the minds of most men. But a lot of them never bother.

All types of men go to clubs. Most go because of a need to ease tension and schmooze with the boys.
Then there are the type of men who are bored with their wives/girlfriends and find it easier to attract a woman with a wad of bills than to put effort into a relationship.
Other men go as part of the "stag" ritual where young men endure a rite of passage to realizing their sexuality by going to these clubs. Then there are the pseudo-intellectual types who go there to observe the sociological implications of the seedier side of human life. And It seems the strip club has gained a kind of cool cache among some men who consider themselves enlightened.

There are good, law abiding strip clubs and there are others that front for prostitution and drug sales. There are wonderful, respectable dancers who are there because it's the best way for them to make good money to put themselves through college or feed their children...and there are others who are there because they can sell drugs and offer their bodies to men after hours.
It's what you make of the experience. There is good, bad and indifferent. Strip clubs themselves are pretty indifferent sorts of places. It's what happens inside and how the dancers behave that makes them good, bad or just so-so.

I want to let women know that it is not a betrayal if we go to strip clubs. Sometimes, we just wanna have fun, too. :)

Shorter Hair is HOTTT!!

2007-12-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year, July to be exact, I decided I needed a change. A change of hairstyle that is. For too long I had been pulling my hair in a ponytail, or just adding extensions for variety. This time, however, I decided to make a drastic change. I cut it all off!!

It was an idea I had been toying w/ for quite some while but it took every ounce of courage I had to finally do it. My hair was breaking from neglect & all the wrong products or better yet, a lack of the right ones.

Do I really want to? Should I? Will I like it? What will Mommy say? (Yes, I am my mother's daughter) Will it suit me? Is my head too big? For you ladies who have gotten a hair cut, you should remember the feeling.

These were only a FEW of the questions that haunted me on my way to the hairdresser. I entered shaking. My only solace laid in the fact that it was Sunday, so if I didn't like it, I could perhaps get a wig:) But then, that would be taking me back to Square 1 so I tuffened up, swallowed my fear & did it!! And guess what?? I'M LOVING IT!!

I've never felt so free, so fresh. I wake up everyday feeling glamorous. The compliments came in abundance before the cut, but I wasn't anywhere close to being prepared for the much larger volumes they were to come in. Not to blow my own horn, but TOOT-TOOT!! :-)

So ladies, if you're thinking of doing something different, consider getting a cut. Your hair stays healthy , which is of foremost importance & then there is the added pleasure of the satisfaction & compliments. The nerves will definitely be there but just remember, only the brave can pull this off!!!

(Once you've cut your hair, you can consult me for tips on keeping the do hip or you can just consult your hairdresser :)

Office Romances

2007-12-10T06:47:00.001-08:00

Office Romance is fairly common these days as the office is where we spend so much of our time. Handled well it can lead to a relationship. Handled badly it can lead to a lawsuit for harassment.
It is not surprising that romance springs up at the office. We spend a third or more of our lives in the office or other places of work. It is a non-threatening environment where we have an opportunity to meet potential dating partners and learn more about them than just what they look like. Yet romantic involvement between employees is loaded with dangers for both the employees and for their employer.
Many companies tried to ban dating among their employees. Most have since abandoned that plan, because of legal restrictions and a recognition of the inevitable. Instead most now try to restrict such activities that are harmful to the business.

"Romance in the office can lead to marriage or a lawsuit" one person says. What do you think?

Is it appropriate?
What are the upsides?
What are the downsides?
As an employer, what would you do to manage the issue?

LESBIAN-ISM in Schools

2007-12-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

So we've heard all about the girl on girl action. We've seen pics circulating all over the internet. It's in our schools, in our communities, even. Lesbian-ism seems to be drawing closer to our doorsteps, but is it just a fad or is this thing here to stay? Could it be the water...maybe the fast food? What do you think???

SHOES, SHOES, SHOES

2007-12-07T13:22:00.000-08:00

By now I'm sure we've all conceded to the fact that fashion has slipped right back into the 70's, 80's... maybe even a bit further back into the 60's. And my, aren't we loving it?

Seeing I'm such a big shoe fanatic, I had to do a post on the things I love next to handbags. I'm sure lots of you can relate.

Everything is now back in style - Peep-Toes, Wedge Heels, Mary Janes, Slingbacks.. just to name a few. The only difference is that shoes are more fashionable these days. You can get almost any pair in your fave style and in any colour. And even nicer, you can get them at such good prices, unless you want to stay on the higher end of things. But even so, you can dress your feet like those of the stars & still set yourself apart from the crowd.

A very nice shoe will compliment any outfit. To me, sometimes more so than the outfit can compliment the shoe, but then, that opinion may be as a result of my total obsession w/ shoes.

Check out just a few of my top picks (brands & websites) for some really nice clothes for feet:

Nine West - http://www.ninewest.com/

Enzo Angiolini - http://www.enzoangiolini.com/

Kenneth Cole - http://www.kennethcole.com/

Steve Madden - http://www.stevemadden.com/

Guess - http://www.guess.com/

Gap Inc - http://www.piperlime.com/

Bathing Suits for Different Body Types

2007-12-07T09:50:00.000-08:00

With a variety of styles and designs, even one-piece swimsuits are making a comeback. But the challenge lies in finding the right style for your particular body type. Certain patterns can enhance problem areas, while others draw attention to your assets. Once you know what styles flatter your body, you’ll be able to find the perfect bathing suit in time to hit the beach!

Small Bust
Before you think about getting implants, look for bathing suit tops that enhance the cleavage you have. Push-ups and padded tops are very popular nowadays. Don’t want to show too much skin? Then try a top that has ruffles or a horizontal neckline. This draws attention away from your small chest, but also gives off the appearance of a fuller bust. Avoid tops that have horizontal stripes or patterns, as this can make you appear flatter.

Large Bust
With large busts it’s all about providing support. Choose a bathing suit top that has wide straps so you get plenty of back support, as well as tops that have foam cups or built-in bras that lift. Tankinis are also another option for busty gals that offer great coverage. To draw attention away from a large chest, wear a solid dark color on top and a solid light color on the bottom.

Tummy Control
If you’ve got a little tummy pouch, your best bet is a one-piece swimsuit that offers an empire waist or side shirring. Some styles even have built-in control panels that create a slimming effect. Diagonal lines and patterns, dark colors and high-waistbands are a plus for women who want their swimsuit to hide their stomach issues.

Long Torso
The key to finding a swimsuit for long torsos is to create balance or the illusion of a shorter torso. Try out a tankini with a horizontal break or stripe under the bust line with high-cut bottoms. For a sexier look, opt for a one-piece with a cutout in the stomach area. This breaks up the appearance of a long torso. Avoid high neck bathing suit tops as well as vertical stripes, which can make your torso appear longer.

Short Torso
For women who are a little short in the midsection, bikinis will become your best friend! To create the appearance of length, go for bikini bottoms that sit low on the hips. If you’re looking for a one-piece bathing suit, choose a style that has a plunging neckline or vertical stripes. Stay away from boy shorts and bottoms with a skirt, since these make your torso look even shorter.

Bottom Heavy
Whether you have a lot of junk in the trunk, big thighs or both, there are bathing styles that suit this body type. Draw attention away from the lower part of your body by wearing tops that enhance your upper body like halters, padded and push-up tops. Printed tops with dark, solid colors on the bottom will automatically cause the eye to move up instead of down. High-cut bottoms can slim large thighs and boy shorts provide excellent coverage. Also try a strapless style to balance out your figure.

Was this info helpful?

Are MUSCLES more attractive on a guy?

2007-12-07T08:14:00.000-08:00

This question has been a number of times, I'm sure. So... which is it? Muscles or not? Are we willing to admit that we find muscles on a guy more attractive... that, if even only in theory , we'd quicker 'give it up' to a brotha who's got the bulges all over, than to a less sculptured young man? Or do you like your guy with a smaller frame? He may just be easier to cuddle with. Do you look through mags & see these bulky brothas & wish we had em close enuff to touch em... just one touch, nothing else:-) Read on to see what the studies say.

Charles Atlas was right: Brawny guys get the girls

Muscular men really do get the girls more often than their less brawny brothers — at least in the short term, research suggests.
The well-muscled are twice as likely to have more sex partners, flings and affairs than those with less toned and chiseled physiques. But in the end, the research suggests, women tend to choose the less buff for long-lasting love.

Women choose musclemen for brief liaisons, but the less burly appear more desirable for long-term relationships because women believe they're more faithful and romantic. The brawny were seen as more domineering and volatile.

"If a man is interested in long-term relationships, maybe he shouldn't spend so much time at the gym," says Martie Haselton, an associate professor at the University of California-Los Angeles and co-author of the research. The study will be published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in August.

Haselton and David Frederick, a UCLA graduate student in psychology, conducted six studies from 2002 to 2006 in which they analyzed responses about muscularity and sexual partners from a total of 788 college students — 509 women and 279 heterosexual men.

Some of the UCLA studies used photographs of men ranging from slender to brawny and asked heterosexual men to report on the muscular features of their own body type and their sexual relationships. Men who were more muscular than average had twice the number of sex partners, flings and affairs with women who had a boyfriend as those of average or below average muscularity.

The research also compared the men's responses with women's tallies of their sexual encounters and the muscularity of their short- and long-term partners. Sixty-one percent reported that their short-term partners were more muscular than their long-term partners.

Steven Gangestad, a psychology professor at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who was not involved in the UCLA study, says the research may well be the first to correlate muscularity with sexual prowess.

"Certainly, the study confirms what I believe are people's suspicions: that men who are more fit and more muscular are indeed seen as more attractive."

APPLYING EYE MAKEUP

2007-12-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

I don't know about y'all, but I used to think that applying eyeshadow was as easy as swiping your eyeshadow of choice over your eye with your finger or with whatever brush you have at home. But... once you've had eye shadow applied by a professional, you'll never wanna do it the 'basic' way again. Applying eye makeup can add so much drama to your get-up. It really isn't as hard as you may think. Besides, even if you do find it a bit challenging, make it fun. You'll be so pleased with your newly found 'mad skills'. Watch these vids for tips. ENJOY!!

Grooming Tips for hooking up your man.

2007-12-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

For most guys, getting a manicure may not seem macho enough. Some men see this as a "girl thing", some think it's gay. But whatever their reason, it may prove difficult to push your guy into something he doesn't feel comfy doing. If you're having an issue with the appearance of his hands & feet, how about doing something about it. Here are a few tips for getting your beau's appendages looking much like you'd like them:

What you'll need

* Nail clippers
* Nail file
* Three-way nail buffer
* Cuticle pusher

Step 1: Nail Clippers

Trim the nails using a good quality nail clipper. Trim only the tips of his nails and not the sides, so they look square. Cutting corners creates hangnails which defeats the whole purpose of the manly-icure. Note: If his nails are less than one-eighth of an inch long, use a file to shorten them.

Step 2: Nail File

Use a file to smooth out rough edges and round out the corners of your nails. This will give them a finished look and will allow them to grow out evenly. Note: File nails in one direction to guarantee a smooth finish, not back in forth.

Step 3: Three-Way Nail Buffer

Start with the side labeled #1 (240 grit) to shape the top of his nail. Next, gently buff with side #2 (400 grit) to create a soft, matte luster. The third side will create a shine. This side will be used in the last step of your manly-icure.

Step 4: Cuticle Pusher

The cuticle is the outermost layer of skin that protrudes a short way above the nail surface. This can be pushed back to give nails a neat appearance. Moisturize his hands first with cream or cuticle cream to soften the cuticle. Then use the rounded end of the gadget to push cuticles back. Note: The cuticle area is the site where hangnails occur. No matter how tempting it is (and it is VERY tempting), never pull a hangnail off. Doing so leaves the area open to infection & it's gotta hurt some.

Step 5: Nail Buffer (again)

Use the third side of the nail buffer to create a slight gloss to the nail bed. Think of it as a shoe shine for nails. He may think of a finished shine as "girly." Convince him it isn't. Tell him "Real men have shine".

IF you feel this is too much for you to handle, another very simple, very affordable way to do this is to get the man a Gift Certificate from the nearest spa. That will undoubtedly do the trick:-)

Now go out & do what you have to do to get the man looking & feeling his best.

PURPLE IS SO IN!!

2007-12-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

Have you been wondering about the new & almost sudden uprising of the colour purple being worn? Guess what? It's not a coincidence... PURPLE IS IN! The colour purple denotes affluence, supremacy, dominance and magnificent opulence. It is also associated with spirituality and mystery. Maybe it's not one of your favourite colours, maybe you never saw your self in any article of clothing that colour, but believe me, it's ok to try anything once. I guarantee you'll love it! Once you've found a shade that compliments your complexion & a style that suits your body type, you'll be good to go. You can get almost any article of clothing in the colour purple. Tops, Bermuda's, Shoes... even underwear:-) (Whether or not your beau is into fashion, slip into something purple, something nice... he may even make it his new fave colour.) Pants are good too - if your boldness exceeds that of the average person... See Fergie.

One tip to bear in mind however - due to the boldness of the colour, certain shades have to be worn in moderation. The brighter the shade, the less you should accessorise. So go on ahead, run to the nearest store & get your self something PURPLE. You won't regret it!

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00375/Girls1_main_682_375445a.jpg